Newest Members
PaulnMA, andrewmartin, Aurigny, Luther, LuckyCharm
12252 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Beyond Abuse (51), dona (55), JoMiFa (35), norbrill1 (62), RubyRoberts (62)
Who's Online
3 registered (Cthulhu, Bluedogone, pufferfish), 49 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12252 Members
73 Forums
63111 Topics
441347 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#445837 - 08/29/13 07:24 AM Just checking in
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi All

I am just checking in to tell you all how life is at the moment.
I Started on this site in May 2011, I was a broken scared man that had just realized the consequences of the sexual abuse in my life. I was ripped 45 and terrified.
My life was filled with Porn addiction, alcohol, anger, homophobia, sexual dysfunction, PTSD, and suicidal tendencies.
Simply put I was scared and did not know what the future held. Actually for me the best future was death.

I started tentatively, reading, posting a little, more reading and slowly slowly I began to realize that I was not alone, I was not the only "freak" in town.

Today I am a Happy healthy Thriver that has started a support group for men in my country. I talk on radio, in the press and I talk to on average 200 kids a week telling them about how special they are, and that they do not have to suffer Sexual abuse.

The most important part of recovery for me was to TALK About it. It started with the strangers here on MS, then a therapist, and moved on to family and then friends and slowly I began telling everyone I met. That's what I do.

I encourage all of you to embrace this gift that we have here, MS.org is an amazing resource, and if it were not for this resource, well I don't know if I would be alive right now.

Healing is absolutely possible for all of us, it is your choice. A long time ago I started the positive quotes which am happy to see others have kept going, so please for your own healing stay away from the angry and bitter folks, listen to the wise happy folks, and heed the advice off those that have successfully healed from their abusive pasts.

Following someone that is angry and abusive will only make you angry and abusive. One of my favorite quotes is "Hatred and revenge are a poison pill you take to make the other person disappear"
I followed this advice and forgave all my perpetrators, I hope that you all can do this too. It takes time to get this right but it is a goal to strive toward.

I hope that My story will give some of you hope and keep you working on your healing.

Remember that It is not your fault, it was never your fault. You are all special people, I know this, and I hope that you to will know this soon.

Keep well all
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#445840 - 08/29/13 08:03 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 268
Loc: PA
Martin,

I like that you are so open with everyone about sexual abuse. I think the more of us that talk openly about it will mean less kids who get abused. I know I want to get heathly enough to give back like that as much as I can. Thanks for your message and I'm happy that you are do so well.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

Top
#445909 - 08/29/13 10:35 PM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1466
Loc: New England
Good to hear from you Martin! Sounds like you're 5 yards to goal and you just threw a Hail Mary. Wait, do they get that in South Africa?

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

Top
#445927 - 08/30/13 01:37 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
nomad510 Offline


Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 28
Your story has inspired me tonight.

Top
#445977 - 08/30/13 04:08 PM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3296
Loc: back in the USA
thanks for the update and summary, Martin.
always good to hear from you.
keep up the good work.
lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

Top
#446973 - 09/12/13 11:25 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey Jude Hahahahaha yep we have hail mary's here wink nice to see that you are still here, how are things going with you. Well I hope?
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#446974 - 09/12/13 11:33 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Rich Hi. I hope that you do get what you are asking for. It is a hard switch from victim to survivor and an easy step from there to thriver. Never give up, you are a truly special person.

Nomad.... Thanks and I am really happy that you found a little hope from my post. Maybe one day you will be less of a Nomad and more of a happy home bod? Keep well brother, and all are welcome to send me a mail or email.

LEEEEEE!!!! how are you, so nice to see you here, man thats awesome. I hope that this finds you well. And thanks for the encouraging words.

You are all amazing people on this site.
Remember that the more I talk about this the easier it gets.

Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.