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#445837 - 08/29/13 07:24 AM Just checking in
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi All

I am just checking in to tell you all how life is at the moment.
I Started on this site in May 2011, I was a broken scared man that had just realized the consequences of the sexual abuse in my life. I was ripped 45 and terrified.
My life was filled with Porn addiction, alcohol, anger, homophobia, sexual dysfunction, PTSD, and suicidal tendencies.
Simply put I was scared and did not know what the future held. Actually for me the best future was death.

I started tentatively, reading, posting a little, more reading and slowly slowly I began to realize that I was not alone, I was not the only "freak" in town.

Today I am a Happy healthy Thriver that has started a support group for men in my country. I talk on radio, in the press and I talk to on average 200 kids a week telling them about how special they are, and that they do not have to suffer Sexual abuse.

The most important part of recovery for me was to TALK About it. It started with the strangers here on MS, then a therapist, and moved on to family and then friends and slowly I began telling everyone I met. That's what I do.

I encourage all of you to embrace this gift that we have here, MS.org is an amazing resource, and if it were not for this resource, well I don't know if I would be alive right now.

Healing is absolutely possible for all of us, it is your choice. A long time ago I started the positive quotes which am happy to see others have kept going, so please for your own healing stay away from the angry and bitter folks, listen to the wise happy folks, and heed the advice off those that have successfully healed from their abusive pasts.

Following someone that is angry and abusive will only make you angry and abusive. One of my favorite quotes is "Hatred and revenge are a poison pill you take to make the other person disappear"
I followed this advice and forgave all my perpetrators, I hope that you all can do this too. It takes time to get this right but it is a goal to strive toward.

I hope that My story will give some of you hope and keep you working on your healing.

Remember that It is not your fault, it was never your fault. You are all special people, I know this, and I hope that you to will know this soon.

Keep well all
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#445840 - 08/29/13 08:03 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 289
Loc: PA
Martin,

I like that you are so open with everyone about sexual abuse. I think the more of us that talk openly about it will mean less kids who get abused. I know I want to get heathly enough to give back like that as much as I can. Thanks for your message and I'm happy that you are do so well.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#445909 - 08/29/13 10:35 PM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1579
Loc: New England
Good to hear from you Martin! Sounds like you're 5 yards to goal and you just threw a Hail Mary. Wait, do they get that in South Africa?

Jude
_________________________
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
Rare Earth

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#445927 - 08/30/13 01:37 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
nomad510 Offline


Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 28
Your story has inspired me tonight.

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#445977 - 08/30/13 04:08 PM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3486
Loc: somewhere in Africa
thanks for the update and summary, Martin.
always good to hear from you.
keep up the good work.
lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#446973 - 09/12/13 11:25 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey Jude Hahahahaha yep we have hail mary's here wink nice to see that you are still here, how are things going with you. Well I hope?
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#446974 - 09/12/13 11:33 AM Re: Just checking in [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Rich Hi. I hope that you do get what you are asking for. It is a hard switch from victim to survivor and an easy step from there to thriver. Never give up, you are a truly special person.

Nomad.... Thanks and I am really happy that you found a little hope from my post. Maybe one day you will be less of a Nomad and more of a happy home bod? Keep well brother, and all are welcome to send me a mail or email.

LEEEEEE!!!! how are you, so nice to see you here, man thats awesome. I hope that this finds you well. And thanks for the encouraging words.

You are all amazing people on this site.
Remember that the more I talk about this the easier it gets.

Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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