The Advantages Of Being A Man
The garage is all yours.
Your ass is never a factor in an interview.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
Wrinkles add character.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Your orgasms are real. Always.
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Your last name stays put.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
The world is your urinal.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't have to leave the room to make crotch adjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
You don't have to schedule sex and vacations around your reproductive system.
Going shirtless in public is perfectly acceptable.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
One mood, all the time
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to screamJoe Cocker