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#446400 - 09/04/13 12:18 PM saying hello
unlucky skin Offline


Registered: 07/08/13
Posts: 7
i found this forum over the summer, but am just posting now.
i am starting to deal with a couple things, that i find really hard to talk about to anyone, and hope to get some insight here. have been referred to rape crisis places in my area by a friend but haven't found the courage or motivation to go, since it's not as if it happened this year. i try to read the helpful posts here but just get more confused and feel creepy just reading, so here is my introduction, hi everyone.

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#446404 - 09/04/13 01:21 PM Re: saying hello [Re: unlucky skin]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
unlucky skin,

I'm sure you are not the only one that's felt that way. When I checked in a year ago it was just too much for me to take in and felt the same ways. After being in therapy for a year and reading some books on the subject I came back and it's been awesome ever since.

You've come to the right place to find answers and help for yourself. No one needs to do this journey on their own. If you don't have a therapist I would highly recommend one. I couldn't have done it without one. There are also some good books on the subject that I think are mentioned at this site.

There's no rush to learn it all. Take in what you can and ask questions when you feel up to it. Others here are feeling or have felt the same things you are going through so you are not alone.

Sorry for what happened to you.

Welcome and I hope you find what you need.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#446409 - 09/04/13 02:34 PM Re: saying hello [Re: unlucky skin]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 187
Loc: Canada
Unlucky skin,

I'm glad you decided to reach out.
I too joined back in May, but only started posting the last few weeks.

It doesnt matter how long ago, or the severity compared to others, pain is pain, as I've been told many times here.

You'll find a great deal of support here if/when you start posting.
I found getting feedback was a little addictive, I was and am seeking acknowledgement, validation and empathy, and received it more than I could have imagined.

Do what feels right for you.

I also agree with Rich, if you don't have a therapist seeking one out is advisable.

Welcome and keep well.
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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#446437 - 09/04/13 11:23 PM Re: saying hello [Re: unlucky skin]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1513
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: unlucky skin
...i try to read the helpful posts here but just get more confused and feel creepy just reading...
Welcome UL,

Insight and clarity take time. Go easy on yourself. And this whole sex abuse business IS creepy, so no worries there either.

The real question we all have to answer is, "are we ready and willing to face all the pain, shame, anger, and self-hatred head-on and deal with it? If you are desperate enough, you can make changes in your life. After 40+ years of denial and wreckage, I have that desperation.

Jude
_________________________
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who

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#446477 - 09/05/13 08:43 AM Re: saying hello [Re: unlucky skin]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 755
Loc: michigan
hey man
I am so glad that you took that first hard step of reaching out.it may feel like a small thing or even nothing I spend so much time making light of what I manage to accomplish. fact is you have done a great thing for yourself. and I appreciate you finding the courage to trust us with your pain. I dont blame you for not wanting to attempt he rape crisis center. I still dont think I could bring myself to go there. but try not to shoot it down out of hand. many times there is support and encouragement to be found there. if you feel you just cant go that route then perhaps a Therapist, or maybe a pastor that you trust could help. In any event you have already taken the first great stem in coming here. so try to relax and perhaps read a bit, join in chat or whatever. It is our hope to keep this a safe place and allow for interaction and healing too
heal well
Jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#447056 - 09/13/13 03:27 AM Re: saying hello [Re: unlucky skin]
unlucky skin Offline


Registered: 07/08/13
Posts: 7
thankyou guys, I don't have much else to say right now.

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#447062 - 09/13/13 04:16 AM Re: saying hello [Re: unlucky skin]
Onesimus75 Offline


Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Minnesota
Unlucky,
For what it's worth, I like Justin Holcom's saying about sexual abuse. The heart's wounds don't know time. It doesn't matter if your abuse was recent or receding into the past. It just matters that you have it, and you deserve to be able to talk if you want.

And for what it's worth, I think that you have the right to read as much as you want, too.

Sharing is only meaningful if you're free not to. So please don't feel creepy.

Just welcome.

I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here, but glad you found here.
_________________________
We are not defined by our faults, or our wounds, but by the truth within us, which nothing can take away.

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#447068 - 09/13/13 04:40 AM Re: saying hello [Re: unlucky skin]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3333
Loc: O Kanada
warmest welcome, unlucky skin.

lurking is not discouraged in this forum, so do not feel bad if you read more than you post. i lurked for around ten years before i started to post.

there is a lot to learn just from reading survivor posts.
if you get anything at all from my posts, i will consider my efforts NOT wasted.

hope you can make your luck change here.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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