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#446280 - 09/03/13 12:11 AM Wife's Touch
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
I've been reading here that some of us recoil at the touch of our loved ones.

My wife returned from a 2 month trip and while in bed put her arm around me. I felt so anxious like she is trying to take something from me. I always feel this way if we are in bed she is not ACTIVELY trying to massage or pleasure me in some way.

Do you guys have that and what did you do about it?

I ended up telling her that I have this and its a symptom that many guys have and I'm working on it. She gave me the best massage I've ever gotten from her (she was trained), so I guess thats a plus one for disclosure.

Any thoughts?

Thanks, Micheal

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#446283 - 09/03/13 12:59 AM Re: Wife's Touch [Re: GoldStone]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 306
Give it time, trust your Desire, your body needs to feel safe, sex with love will purify you smile
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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#446334 - 09/03/13 02:07 PM Re: Wife's Touch [Re: GoldStone]
nomad510 Offline


Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 28
GoldStone you're lucky you have a wife, ha!

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#446348 - 09/03/13 05:13 PM Re: Wife's Touch [Re: GoldStone]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
GoldStone - BTW thanks for the Soul Ties message. Nice to no someone read it :-)

I wish I could be more helpful. I have things based on my SA that I would want my wife to do when we are making love that would make it more enjoyable, but never go there because I'm too afraid it will remind me of the abuse. I guess my philosophy to date has been to avoid what doesn't work (because of the abuse) and look for new things that do work and then run with them.

My new thinking is that maybe we can take some of the things forced upon us by our abusers and "make them our own". Once we own them then maybe we can do what we want with them to our own satisfaction. I think it sounds good on "paper", but have no idea how I would go about doing it. Not even sure that this would work for your example. Just something I've been mulling over in my head.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#446362 - 09/03/13 06:49 PM ! [Re: GoldStone]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:39 PM)

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