Newest Members
RodrigoBR, MJ545, Marant, BeingFound, journey4two
12332 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueelectron9 (48), Grunty1967b (2014), highflight (42), jocks44 (54), kitm1 (47), Porrick (44)
Who's Online
2 registered (traveler, Greg56), 16 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12332 Members
74 Forums
63414 Topics
443364 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#445976 - 08/30/13 03:59 PM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
KMC -

this is like the happy ending of a movie! i can hear the music swelling now. it is so much better than i could have hoped.

of course, i know that it is not really the end unless you decide not to go any further with pursuing the avenues still open to you.

but i hope you will pause and rest and savor the moment and enjoy this victory. because - incomplete as it is - it IS a HUGE improvement upon what you were expecting and what most people would fear.

so - my suggestion is not to rush to a decision too quickly. take your time and take care of yourself. be prepared for a possible emotional letdown as the initial exhilaration subsides.

you have accomplished so much and grown so much and dredged up resources from depths of resiliency that i find inspiring and encouraging.

no matter what happens next - you are a VICTOR and a HERO and a WINNER!!! my congratulations and best wishes and prayers for the future...

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#446039 - 08/31/13 09:53 AM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1629
Lee

Thank you for the support and advise. You like others have encouraged me to take my time and think what I should do next. I agree. I am happy where I am today and the validation I received has helped to heal the wounds and put those who tried to stifle the healing with saying the abuse was not or abuse does not have the effects it had on me into their proper place. They need to evaluate their own actions and the core of their moral compassion.

So for now I will enjoy my new sense of freedom and will be viligent to monitor my emotions as the exhuberance of the validation and freedom become me. I know in the past I had setbacks when I made progress in healing. However today I am living in a safer environment and not surrounded by taunts and false accusations. My T says should be helpful in not being subject to the sense of re-victimization that previously impacted my healing. I am hopeful but cautious.

I believe everyone here is a hero. Everyone is facing a past that most do not understand and many belittle what we lived and the effect it had on our lives and sadly theirs. To heal is tough and all victims and survivors are heroes to have endured such brutality and betrayal. I am no braver than others. But it is nice to hear those words every so often.

I am grateful for all the support and will take my time on my next steps. I will not let the impulse to push forward control what I do. I have done this in the past on this healing journey and it proved too much too soon. Resulting in extensive episodes of dissociation and fugues. A world I do not want to continue to experience even if the child is looking for safety vs the abuse. I need to remain in the here and now.

Thank you and for everyone onthis journey we should be thankfu for all the supporters we meet on MS.

I have more healing to

Top
#446040 - 08/31/13 09:54 AM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1629
Lee

Thank you for the support and advise. You like others have encouraged me to take my time and think what I should do next. I agree. I am happy where I am today and the validation I received has helped to heal the wounds and put those who tried to stifle the healing with saying the abuse was not or abuse does not have the effects it had on me into their proper place. They need to evaluate their own actions and the core of their moral compassion.

So for now I will enjoy my new sense of freedom and will be viligent to monitor my emotions as the exhuberance of the validation and freedom become me. I know in the past I had setbacks when I made progress in healing. However today I am living in a safer environment and not surrounded by taunts and false accusations. My T says should be helpful in not being subject to the sense of re-victimization that previously impacted my healing. I am hopeful but cautious.

I believe everyone here is a hero. Everyone is facing a past that most do not understand and many belittle what we lived and the effect it had on our lives and sadly theirs. To heal is tough and all victims and survivors are heroes to have endured such brutality and betrayal. I am no braver than others. But it is nice to hear those words every so often.

I am grateful for all the support and will take my time on my next steps. I will not let the impulse to push forward control what I do. I have done this in the past on this healing journey and it proved too much too soon. Resulting in extensive episodes of dissociation and fugues. A world I do not want to continue to experience even if the child is looking for safety vs the abuse. I need to remain in the here and now.

Thank you and for everyone onthis journey we should be thankfu for all the supporters we meet on MS.

I have more healing to

Top
#446049 - 08/31/13 12:15 PM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
Originally Posted By: KMCINVA

I am no braver than others. But it is nice to hear those words every so often.


There are many of us who are not brave enough to do the work and I don't blame them. Recovery from what we've gone through is tough stuff. Taking it to the grave could be easier for some.

So you are going to have to here it again - you are braver than some IMHO and I thank you for that because it's inspirational.

Thanks for the updates. With this kind path I'm sure the movie will have a happy ending.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

Top
#446123 - 09/01/13 08:57 AM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1629
Rich

Thank you for the kind words. It is a journey for all of us. We have so many ups and downs, feelings of being unworthy. It is only with support, kind words, a smile or an attentive ear that allow us to move forward and heal. For me I have been fortunate and found supporters here and outside MS.

What I do next on this journey I do not know but keep thinking I should call the Hotline so an eye is kept on him. This I will do. The formal grievance process I do not know. I do not need anymore validation. The church knows, I know and with the Hotline he will know. I also think the abuser knows he has not gone unnoticed and his victims have made their abuse known to the church.

Thanks again.

Top
#446126 - 09/01/13 09:41 AM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
You are very welcome :-)

Hope your abuser is feeling the pressure soon.

Take care.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

Top
#448254 - 09/25/13 11:14 PM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1629
Tonight at my support meeting I shared what happened with my meeting with the Diocese. It is a group primarily of people who have been abused by members of the clergy. They were amazed but so happy for me, just like everyone here. To them validation was the most important thing for healing--they commented on how over the past several months they have seen a change in my demeanor, walk and smile. But for me the most important feedback was their experiences with filing a formal grievance with the diocese. To them it was hell and put them in a place of being the victim. They thought where I was and what I received from the meetings was the best of all worlds and not to put myself into a position of being re-victimized. I had concluded this recently and hearing their words gave validation to my decision. For me, I am at the next phase to help others (and I have done some volunteer work) but now realize telling my story of the abuse and the effects and triggers, giving a shoulder to others and helping others heal is where I must go.

Strangely, last night we were at a cocktail party and we were at a table with a person who had been a passenger on one of the Columbia flights in the 1980's. He talked about his venture in space but I found one comment most interesting--he said everyone should spent sometime in space because the euphoria from weightlessness takes away all problems and memories of bad times--I thought wouldn't that be great for everyone here to have the opportunity to forget such a horrific chapter in our lives.

Top
#448480 - 09/27/13 08:24 PM Re: Today I Meet With The Church Over the Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1184
Loc: New York
Originally Posted By: KMCINVA
.....For me, I am at the next phase to help others (and I have done some volunteer work) but now realize telling my story of the abuse and the effects and triggers, giving a shoulder to others and helping others heal is where I must go.

Hey KMCINVA,

I'm really sorry I missed this thread I guess I was in my own world. I would have loved to give you some support and love before your meeting with the church. I'm sorry.

Your story of the meeting was more than I ever expected. It gave me hope in that I will eventually get some feeling of relief from my past. You have no idea how happy I am that it went so well. I would have done the same thing as that lady from SNAP did, I think that was awful sweet and kind. I'm so happy that it went so well. My venture into space was through drugs and dissociation. I would rather go into space that passenger on Columbia did.

There are happy endings to horrible stories.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.