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#445998 - 08/30/13 08:38 PM The only direction you can push is away.
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 637
Loc: NJ
I just came across an old post by SAR and it said: The only direction you can push is away.

What a profund statement. And oh so true.

We can't push anyone toward something, even if it might be good for them.

We can, however, choose what we won't put up with. This is true of everyone, every human. We always have the right to push away.

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#446016 - 08/30/13 10:35 PM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
PookieMarie Offline


Registered: 07/23/13
Posts: 12
I needed to read this today. I needed this very badly. Thank you,

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#446081 - 08/31/13 08:06 PM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
HD001 Offline


Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 205
Loc: IDAHO
We need a "like" button. Very insightful thank you.
_________________________
Everything comes from within

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#446115 - 09/01/13 05:42 AM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
SamV Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5935
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
This is profound yet so simple, the proverbial horse to water. If those we care about choose to continue to hurt themselves it is their choice. We certainly can talk with them, telling them what hurts us, what we are uncomfortable with and what we need from a relationship but we cannot demand. Begrudging compliance is not what we want in the short or long term. If the "horse" chooses to lie by the banks and dehydrate, that is it's choice, we could choose to expend our efforts fully invested to finding new and different ways to try to get it to drink or we can, to varying degrees, separate ourselves and use our precious resources to connect with healthy, positive sources of our own refreshment.

Thank you Esposa, this helps me to release my adult children and my survivor to their own machinations.., well, not all of them, I may still nag a bit here and there, but I can let them hammer away until they hit their own nail, no sense in my continuing to cover their thumb and getting mine bruised every time.

Sam
_________________________
My SENSITIVE Difference

"Lets talk about that."

Go Get A Hug: HUG>porn

*When provoked* "Anyone holding back his sayings is possessed of knowledge. (Proverbs 17:27)"

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#446120 - 09/01/13 08:51 AM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
lucylives Offline


Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 357
So very true, sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves and our husbands is to push away. Sometimes that alone is the motivation for change. The fear that we will not be sucked in to the insanity anymore.....detachment and boundaries.

Great reminder esposa.

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