I am just checking in to tell you all how life is at the moment.
I Started on this site in May 2011, I was a broken scared man that had just realized the consequences of the sexual abuse in my life. I was ripped 45 and terrified.
My life was filled with Porn addiction, alcohol, anger, homophobia, sexual dysfunction, PTSD, and suicidal tendencies.
Simply put I was scared and did not know what the future held. Actually for me the best future was death.
I started tentatively, reading, posting a little, more reading and slowly slowly I began to realize that I was not alone, I was not the only "freak" in town.
Today I am a Happy healthy Thriver that has started a support group for men in my country. I talk on radio, in the press and I talk to on average 200 kids a week telling them about how special they are, and that they do not have to suffer Sexual abuse.
The most important part of recovery for me was to TALK About it. It started with the strangers here on MS, then a therapist, and moved on to family and then friends and slowly I began telling everyone I met. That's what I do.
I encourage all of you to embrace this gift that we have here, MS.org is an amazing resource, and if it were not for this resource, well I don't know if I would be alive right now.
Healing is absolutely possible for all of us, it is your choice. A long time ago I started the positive quotes which am happy to see others have kept going, so please for your own healing stay away from the angry and bitter folks, listen to the wise happy folks, and heed the advice off those that have successfully healed from their abusive pasts.
Following someone that is angry and abusive will only make you angry and abusive. One of my favorite quotes is "Hatred and revenge are a poison pill you take to make the other person disappear"
I followed this advice and forgave all my perpetrators, I hope that you all can do this too. It takes time to get this right but it is a goal to strive toward.
I hope that My story will give some of you hope and keep you working on your healing.
Remember that It is not your fault, it was never your fault. You are all special people, I know this, and I hope that you to will know this soon.
Keep well all
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