Nothing eased the emotional pain. Nothing.... what had worked for so many years no longer did. And I looked around and realized I was alone. Kids had grown. Spouse had died. I was alone. I looked at the calendar, did the math, finally understood that time marches on and I was nearing my 55th bday. I did not want to die feeling about life the way I did. Things had to change.
And the adult assault pulled all the distant happenings from childhood and they became one- it was time to deal or to die. I chose to deal.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.