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#445750 - 08/28/13 05:05 PM !
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:33 PM)

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#445805 - 08/28/13 11:52 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Heh, well he's forgetting that the vast majority of sex abusers who abuse boys are straight identified men who have psychosexual issues. Take my father, for instance.

Me on the other hand, I'm gay, and kinky too, but my sexual expression is with men, and it's consensual, and it's safe, and it's sane. That's the process I'm working with.

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#445883 - 08/29/13 04:32 PM ! [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:36 PM)

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#445888 - 08/29/13 05:33 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
... original post removed. Read the article.

.... "ex-gay" therapy? I thought it had fallen out of favor with the conservatives. I have never a fan or listener to Reagan but I did not know he had been abused. I have nothing concrete to base this on, other than my own inferencing from his words but I venture to suggest he still has a great fear that he may in fact be gay. Actually, at some point in his life he has been terrified he might be considered gay.


Edited by ThisMan (08/29/13 05:50 PM)
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For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#445891 - 08/29/13 07:12 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
Michael Reagan was molested and used in child-porn, then blackmailed with the porn so the molesting could continue. He is on the record as having been very sexually confused / SSA'ed afterwards, compulsively screwing prostitutes to try to prove to himself he was really heterosexual - to the point where he had to steal the money to pay them.

Given that homosexuality was a crime in his day and there were no advocates of any stripe, his self-loathing and denial must have been extreme. I'm not at all surprised he believes in ex-gay therapy - at some point(s) in his life it was (is) his dream come true. The wording should be changed. Lots of guys here are in therapy over their SSA; it isn't "ex-gay" because they're not gay. Forcing gay kids into "ex-gay" therapy can kill them. Helping confused victims rediscover their true sexuality can save their lives.
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My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#445911 - 08/29/13 10:54 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: SoccerStar]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
I find Reagan's history heart breaking, just as I find all stories of pain and suffering caused by CSA heartbreaking. Thanks for the info on the background story. It adds greatly to my understanding of his view as I sort out his message.

And I can't disagree with your synopsis of the "ex-gay" therapy. Helping some, destroying others. But I have read of so many individuals who went through similar therapies only to emerge a further defeated person denying the very basic core of their being. Simply put, it scares me.

It scares me because as my therapy continues (which isn't "ex-gay" therapy) a central theme keeps continually emerging... and it is centering on ssa and gay. I just don't think I have to the emotional well-being to deal with it. It's confusing. Maybe one day someone will dialogue with me on this, but back to Reagan....

I also understand Gary's point of view. Okay. Enough said on my part and I appreciate the chance to read and learn tonight.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#445915 - 08/29/13 11:38 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
To be very clear: when people say "ex-gay therapy" they typically refer to ultra-religious parents imprisoning their gay kids in boot camps to be abused, shamed, emotionally sterilized, and pointed down the path of s**c*d*. There is no science behind it and it has been rejected by the APA and banned in many states. It's not far removed from parents who withhold medical care from sick kids and instead use faith healers and speaking in tongues as they watch them die. It is a form of abuse.

Someone of their own accord asking a professional "why do I think of sex with men so much, if part of me hates it and feels wrong and guilty?" and "I feel like the perp changed me," to outline and talk it out and try to emphasize the sexuality that feels more natural, especially if it is a sexuality they remembered being different before abuse, is using different tools in a different setting and can expect different outcomes.

I have long since accepted my bisexual desires as part of myself. I enjoy them - greatly - and wish I could have accepted myself in college in time to have had some real fun. It is impossible to know whether the perp made me this way, so I choose to believe he did not. The fact that I'm not just "cock-curious," not just focused on sex acts, but could also see myself being romantically involved and intimately emotionally bonded with a man in the same degree as women, helps with that determination.
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#445918 - 08/29/13 11:45 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Ex gay therapy is for responsible self aware adults only. Ands Its not only for the religious, nor do only religious peeople have reason to believe that their own homosexuality is dysfunctional. Banning it broadly is an abuse of state control imho.

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#445961 - 08/30/13 12:17 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Personally, I love the cracks in me, the uniqueness. I would never use force to try to fit myself or someone else inside a box, unless it were a hot kinky scene. I'm not about to try to change what I have spent years learning to love in me. Like the Japanese pottery broken and remade with seams of gold, I have learned to integrate all of who I am.

I am beautiful.

I am gay.

I am kinky.

And I don't sexually abuse anyone.

I play with men, and I model consent, communication, and safety.

What a wonderful being I am!

We all are.

Bless each of you on your journey as you realize your own true nature, whatever that is for you!

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#445962 - 08/30/13 12:19 PM Re: Michael Reagan: Child abuse makes people gay [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I am amazing.
A creature of light.
An innocent little boy lives inside me.
He laughs and smiles and plays.
Deep power and truth.
I know it now.

Pain long held encrusted
in the cells of my sacrum and spine
is emerging, now that I am ready to feel it
to free it, to feel it, to release it

Knowing the deeper truth of my innocence,
the wondrous creativity and adaptability of being human
that allowed me to survive
the wisdom of a little boy
in a terrible situation
holding it all in
until that day
when I could finally see it, understand it, feel it, and let it all go.

I treasure this little boy.
I hear his cries.
I know we are finding a way thru the darkness,
lit by flickering heart fires
my child, my sage
we walk together now
once again
merrily on the way
to a happier place.

All the violence
all the suffering
happens when we lose contact
with the child within us.
We feel ashamed, afraid.
We judge ourselves wrong, bad, or evil.
All the violence
all the suffering
come from that place.
It is only one step away from throwing stones.

But a new day has come.
Today, I recognize the divinity and innocence of my child within
I become harmless and joyful.
Rolling around in sand,
it is not far,
soon I may be giggling the names of God.

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