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#445606 - 08/27/13 04:35 PM Excellent article written by survivor's spouse
Chris Anderson Offline
Executive Director
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 233
Loc: New York
Hello all,

I just saw this come across my Facebook feed (are you connected to us on social media, by the way?) and had to share it with you all.

On Marrying a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Quote:
...Newly into our marriage, and refusing to put more blame on that little boy’s shoulders, I said “I believe you.”

This is the most important thing a partner can say. Almost 25 years after leaving the school, when Trav did tell his parents, they believed him, too. His mom had set out a pile of items unpacked from his school days to make a memory quilt. When Trav declined, his father asked why, and Trav told the truth.

As a parent, thinking you gave your child the opportunity of a lifetime, how do you watch that image corrode? How do you remember hearing your boy cry to come home, believing it was temporary homesickness? How do you process that despite doing your best due diligence, the organization you trusted with your child played a role in his trauma?

His parents’ immediate reaction—to hug him tight—was exactly right.


Chris

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#445624 - 08/27/13 07:41 PM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Chris Anderson]
lucylives Offline


Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 360
Thank you for posting this....we are so isolated, we wives with no support but the friends from here and 12 step programs.

The majority of the population can't or won't understand...

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#445633 - 08/27/13 08:41 PM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Chris Anderson]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 696
Loc: NJ
We are out there wink

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#445641 - 08/27/13 10:08 PM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Chris Anderson]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Quote:
We are out there
Ditto.
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#445740 - 08/28/13 03:16 PM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Chris Anderson]
lucylives Offline


Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 360
I thank God for you Esposa and am glad you are here on this journey with me. Hate that you have to be here but so grateful that you are.

You always make me laugh when I need it and totally get the pain!

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#445996 - 08/30/13 08:33 PM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Chris Anderson]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 696
Loc: NJ
Ditto wink Love you

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#446801 - 09/10/13 09:00 AM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Chris Anderson]
sugarbaby Offline


Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 341
Quote:
Given the near-universal shame in the telling and the near-universal discomfort of the listener, as his wife, it makes me uncomfortable how we, as a community, fail to protect our little boys.


Me too.

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#446873 - 09/10/13 11:21 PM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Chris Anderson]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6422
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I don't feel right in calling any one of the F&F "stronger" or "less-than-other's strength."

I can't say "those of you who hang in there are strong" without contrasting against other partners of male CSA survivors.

Just know...you are ALL strong for even being here...including the ones who never sign-up or sign-in. Many of you non-registered users fear signing-up. We fully "get that," but YOU are strong too.

As I've said before; There's more pain in this forum than can ever be quantified.
_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#446912 - 09/11/13 03:02 PM Re: Excellent article written by survivor's spouse [Re: Still]
sugarbaby Offline


Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 341
Originally Posted By: Still
I don't feel right in calling any one of the F&F "stronger" or "less-than-other's strength."

I can't say "those of you who hang in there are strong" without contrasting against other partners of male CSA survivors.

Just know...you are ALL strong for even being here...including the ones who never sign-up or sign-in. Many of you non-registered users fear signing-up. We fully "get that," but YOU are strong too.

As I've said before; There's more pain in this forum than can ever be quantified.


It is good to see you posting. smile

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