Those around us need to go their own way, it is empowering to develop our own thoughts feelings and actions, it builds confidence and assertiveness when we stumble, make mistakes and then fix those to a successful conclusion.
I would recommend a CODA support group, Co Dependents Anonymous. This will help empower you to empower others by letting them make their own mistakes and success. Our children can feel trapped because they do not feel ready or capable of being on their own, we do them a disservice by continuing to enable their entitlement. If they are upset with you, help them understand personal growth comes from enduring hardship and you know that hardship fosters empowerment.
When my children were 18, they moved out. I had a trust fund saved for them both to either go to college or move into their own place. The oldest has used his and has had a successful two years away from home, calling to talk about my acting out was the first year or so, I apologized for awhile, them I told him I was done apologizing, he got the message and we talked about cars and relationships. One day he apologized, that was a turning point in our relationship. My youngest is getting into his trust fund and is own life, he is already learning that endurance through hardships brings hope, but it is early in his adulthood.
My best to you freeze,
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014