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#445474 - 08/26/13 12:38 AM Re: Kitty Saved My Life [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
The link please Gary. You? Hijack? Nah.

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#445519 - 08/26/13 05:42 PM Re: Kitty Saved My Life [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
No need to respond guys. Just helps me to post. Having one of those wrung out days. Very depressed and it looks like I'll just have to ride it out today.

When the kitty fountain gurgles, I find myself looking around to see if it's Ricky taking a drink, even though he wasn't ever impressed by Daddy's Great Idea...and we stayed with the bowl. If I hear a sound in the house, my first instinct is that it's Ricky getting into something. And that's just where things are today.

Nor, at the moment, do I particularly feel like pursuing the adoptees even though there are good candidates. I guess I just want to miss my companion for a while...hell, hasn't even been two weeks anyway. I hate this shit.

My usual inclination would also be to find a tie-in to my history. I don't even want to put forth that effort.

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#445522 - 08/26/13 05:48 PM ! [Re: Lancer]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:28 PM)

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#445523 - 08/26/13 06:20 PM Re: Kitty Saved My Life [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
You remind me they're all unique...and perhaps that's the way it should be.

One of Ricky's predecessors, Sheena (the Mom to a few of my guys), would rest on my upper back, stick her (wet) nose in my ear and fall asleep. Ricky wasn't nearly as delicate, as I've mentioned previously. He'd lie down on my chest, then flop on his side which would land suffocatingly on my nose and mouth.

(In years of kitty observation, I've noticed they'll often lie down on their captured prey, too. Now, whether Ricky considered me prey or it was simply a demonstration of my being pwned....)


Speaking of "ownership" I'll share a story that cheers me up a little. When Ricky was still a youngster of three or four, he one day dragged a heron in through the porch's kitty door, thru the sliders and down to the end of the hall to Daddy's bedroom door, where he lay down and took a nap while Mr. Bird just stood there in shock, not to mention Ricky's dad, too (wtf? there's a HERON in my hallway!). When naptime was over, he again dragged Mr. Bird back down the hall, out the sliders and out the kitty door where, amazingly, he released it. (His sister Lucy never quite got the hang of The Hunt. She'd hunt/retrieve/parade...seagrape leaves, but with no less feline fanfare).

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#445671 - 08/28/13 06:48 AM Re: Kitty Saved My Life [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Two weeks today since Ricky passed. Under the circumstances, I've nevertheless had a couple decent days. Perhaps part of it is that - yeah, I'll admit it - I've put a teddy from an old collection in my bed as a substitute. I suppose the other part is considering what he'd want for his dad. But I still have times during the day when I miss his presence terribly.

I'm letting things take their course in their own time. I've tentatively settled on a pair of FIV+ boys, about seven years old, already bonded. The agency seems receptive. Common wisdom is that their FIV status often makes them unadoptable in the average person's eyes. Honestly, if I was dating, not unlike a guy who'd reject me for my HIV status alone. Kindred spirits, if you will.

There are a number of other parallels to my own adoption experience, as well, which I won't go into here.

I've clearly indicated, however, I'm still grieving Ricky and in no rush. These guys are in a foster home - though with a number of other cats - but settled and comfortable. Besides, they may not even LIKE me.

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#445832 - 08/29/13 06:01 AM Re: Kitty Saved My Life [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Having one of those 12-24's when I need a lengthy online vent. Short version is that this has taken more out of me physically than I expected. Various times in the past two weeks, including now, I've been feeling more like I felt before the new meds started in Feb. Guess that's a clue and not unexpected...but, sheesh, when it hits it's lousy.

Had a nice half hour chat with the lady who had cared for Ricky's body until she found out who the owner was. Has four of her own, and it's reassuring to know I live in a place where neighbors actually care. Still, had a bit of a cry last night because Ricky wasn't asleep on my chest.

I'm using some of this time to have some long overdue painting done inside the next couple of days. It'll be distracting and annoying to have a painter in here all day, but the damn stuff will be done once and for all...and before any adoptees arrive.

Adoption was approved for the pair of FIV cats ("excellent application")...not only invoked my own HIV, but my own adoption experience. If there's something to be said for what I've endured/survived, it's that I get it. Probably what empathy's about. The agency has offered to cover their lifetime medical care! They call it Foster Forever. The generosity - much needed - surprised the hell outta me.

I guess I should feel excited. But what I feel and what I think are two different things right now. I just feel emotionally and physically drained. But I particularly like they're a bonded pair, that their descriptions have prompted me to rechristen them Tigger & Spot, and that a pair of guys with FIV came into my life with barely any effort on my part, except that my soul has been crying out for Ricky and/or new companions to fill the void. Perhaps I was heard as I'd never been heard before. Can't quite put it into words, but my feeling is that they're about to get a better life than many of their FIV- counterparts will ever get and it's because of their FIV. Go figure. At the moment, however, I just feel tired enough to let things take their course. Almost sounds like post-withdrawal resignation.

First visit in their foster home coming up Sunday afternoon. Leaving a shirt for them with my scent (perhaps something with Ricky's scent, too). I still obviously need regroup time, they need to get to know me and I them. So it will be at least few visits before they're introduced to their new home. I told their foster mom I want to make it an interesting new "adventure" for them, instead of a snatching.

It just helps to be around feline affection, whether or not it's the ones I'm adopting.

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#446456 - 09/05/13 03:51 AM Re: Kitty Saved My Life [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
I'll add a happier note to the post I made on Ricky's cremation arrangement and the lousy way I was treated. I made a huge stink and they righted things the second time. I also shot them a note thanking the administrator who stepped in on the matter.

When I picked up the ashes this week I had another surprise. I'd expected only his ashes. I thought the cardboard box seemed heavy. When I opened it, they'd placed the ashes in a beautiful sealed cherry box. I was pretty speechless. I was thinking how appropriate that this special companion of 16 years received special treatment. More waterworks...

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#446458 - 09/05/13 03:59 AM Re: Kitty Saved My Life [Re: Lancer]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Lancer,
it is so good to see you here and it was great to read some happier note about Ricky.
That was very sweet story! It is no wonder that water is flushing everywhere...

Pero
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