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#445359 - 08/24/13 04:27 PM after a long absence *possible triggers*
indygal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 439
greetings to all -

I've been a member and very energetic advocate of this website for a number of years, but haven't posted recently so I will take a moment to re-introduce myself. I found MS originally upon learning about the csa history of a man I was involved with.

It was a life-changing event, both the relationship and learning about csa in men. I delved into the research and found out a lot about how I related to men was not necessarily appropriate all the time. Sometimes, yes, but not always. I learned that men, boys, could be victims ever bit as much as women and girls.

Unfortunately I also learned that there were other men in my life who were obviously csa survivors. Some were friends, others are relatives. Most of all, I learned that my son's actions were more likely than not based on his own survivor status.

I knew about this status but because he was so young at the time, I didn't think he knew about it. Then it occurred to me recently (I don't know why not sooner) that perhaps the time I knew about - when he was just a baby and which I took steps to stop - was perhaps not the only time. That there could have been other times, even other abusers.

This hit me as the proverbial bombshell. It also explained so much.

I will let this go now and post my questions below.
_________________________
my avatar is one of the Battle Angel characters, fighting the good fight.

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#445360 - 08/24/13 04:41 PM Re: after a long absence *possible triggers* [Re: indygal]
bcl092 Offline


Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 27
Loc: Long Island, NY
Welcome back. I know what you mean, I just got over a rough period myself.

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#445406 - 08/25/13 08:59 AM Re: after a long absence *possible triggers* [Re: indygal]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 761
Loc: michigan
hey indygal I hope that you can remember that whatever happened,it is Not Your Fault. I can only imagine the grief/anger you might be feeling. some of my csa happened at baby sitters and I have held anger about it not realizing that it was not anyone's fault but the perp. so I hope that you are not blaming yourself in any way. also as you consider getting help for your son think about yourself as well you will need all the support you can get
Jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#446602 - 09/07/13 12:37 AM Re: after a long absence *possible triggers* [Re: newground]
indygal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 439
Jeff - thank you for this. since I'm a mom, well, haven't you heard? everything is our fault. everything. case closed.

Originally Posted By: newground
hey indygal I hope that you can remember that whatever happened,it is Not Your Fault.


this is so good, bless you, and I think for the first time ever, someone has ever said this to me.


Originally Posted By: newground
I can only imagine the grief/anger you might be feeling. some of my csa happened at baby sitters and I have held anger about it not realizing that it was not anyone's fault but the perp. so I hope that you are not blaming yourself in any way. also as you consider getting help for your son think about yourself as well you will need all the support you can get
Jeff


I think some of the darkness just lifted. a bit.
_________________________
my avatar is one of the Battle Angel characters, fighting the good fight.

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#447070 - 09/13/13 04:44 AM Re: after a long absence *possible triggers* [Re: indygal]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3350
Loc: O Kanada
so glad to have you back.

a sincere welcome,
and my wish that you will find what you need here.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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