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#444927 - 08/21/13 11:41 AM taboo objects
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3749
Loc: somewhere in Africa
there are several things that nearly make me feel nauseated. they are things that are so closely associated with the abusers in my past that they take me right back. they may seem innocuous to others - who are completely clueless of my aversion - but to me they have been bad news. i am no longer so seriously triggered - but they do still present a "bump in the road" - that i try to avoid.

this morning at the house where we are visiting i encountered one of them. i opened the fridge and was confronted by:

concord grape jelly.
it was the favorite flavor that the step-dad liked. it was what we always had in the house as i was growing up. i refused to eat it. i would take any kind but that. this morning i pushed it to the back and put other jars in front of it.

that reminded me of some other stuff:

right guard spray deodorant.
that was the brand that all the jock bullies had in their lockers in the gym. i can't stand the smell or sight of it.

munsingwear pouch front and jockey Y-fly briefs.
i don't know if they even make them any more - but those are the styles the step-dad wore. nuf said.

i know it is probly silly - after all these years - but i have always banned those things from my home. i feel like putting this out there - talking about it - they sort of lose some of their power over me.

are there things that do the same to you?
lee
_________________________
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"


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#444930 - 08/21/13 12:35 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Lee,

I have had a bunch of these kinds of things in my life. It often disarms them to understand where they came from.

A certain kind of men's bedroom slippers.

Men's hats (the type that a man would wear with a suit)

Men cutting their toe nails at breakfast time.

Motor oil smell (as used in cars) - from being abused in a garage.

Swimming pools

There are others. I'll try to remember and update this later

Puffer

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#444933 - 08/21/13 01:10 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
Rich1967 Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 387
Loc: PA
Vaseline lotion. Ugh.

Saw dust - he was a cabinet maker.

Hand washing dishes - that was always my punishment.

Public men's rooms - too many men in close proximity and I get so tense I can't go unless I find an open stall.

I guess some of these aren't objects, but they do remind me of my abuser, the abuse or my feelings of worthlessness in the eyes of other men.

Haven't really talked too openly about these things. Maybe this will help. Opening up about other things has helped.

Lee - good thing there are so many better tasting jellies besides grape :-)
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#444934 - 08/21/13 01:20 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 406
Red shoes (but teamleader at work wears them all the time so it doesn't upset me as much anymore)

Heineken beer (I refuse to drink it, wich my friends think is silly but they've accepted it. If there isn't any other kind of beer we don't go there or they order something else for me. It's sometimes hard to avoid, in The Netherlands)

Palmolive shampoo. Thankfully nobody seems to use it anymore

The Beatles music

Spaghetti (I could never eat that the 'right' way when I was young so I always got beaten for not eating it 'correctly')

Men that wear strong smelling eau de cologne

Women smoking cigars (my mother was always in an extra evil mood when she did that, thank god there aren't hardly any other women that smoke cigars. Though I saw a picture of an older lady smoking one the other day and it threw me straight into a flashback)

Black belts (I don't mind when other people wear them but I refuse to)

vapo rub

Well there are more but that's it for now
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#444937 - 08/21/13 01:53 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
Suwanee Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 985
Loc: Southeast USA
Bulb syringes
Drakkar Noir cologne---I CAN'T STAND THE SMELL OF THAT STUFF
Bath towels that smell sour
Reebok running shorts

That's enough.

Will
_________________________
I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. ---FDR

I AM

Cruel Summer
My Journal

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#444944 - 08/21/13 02:47 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 370
Loc: Iowa, USA
The songs "Baby, Don't get Hooked on Me" by Mac Davis and Aloutte, the French children's song. The former was playing on the radio during one abuse incident and the latter was what we had been singing around the fire before another abuse incident.
Also - orange shag carpet, log cabins, sleeping bags, and Playboy magazine ( what he gave me to read after he was done)
DavO


Edited by DavoSwim (08/23/13 07:27 PM)

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#444955 - 08/21/13 04:20 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
txb Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 291
Originally Posted By: traveler
concord grape jelly.
it was the favorite flavor that the step-dad liked. it was what we always had in the house as i was growing up. i refused to eat it. i would take any kind but that. this morning i pushed it to the back and put other jars in front of it.


Maybe you should buy a jar and smash it into pieces?

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#444959 - 08/21/13 04:41 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Jars of petroleum jelly. Particularly Vaseline brand.
Brylcreem (hair product my dad used)
Dunlop KT26 shoes
Deflated or cut up balloons (yellow)
ribbed condoms
Old Spice cologne
my towel if ANYONE else has used it

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#444962 - 08/21/13 05:18 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3749
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Rich - you are right. i prefer red raspberry preserves and orange marmalade with shredded peel!

txb - good idea - sounds very therapeutic. i may try that.

lee
_________________________
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"


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#445010 - 08/21/13 09:19 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
toddop Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 233
Loc: California
I have a ton of these:

Baby Oil - the smell makes me want to puke
The smell of towels washed with regular chlorox bleach
Chalk
The smell of a gym
The smell of a gym locker room
Menthol stuff that you rub on sore muscles
Tripods
Cigars
The feel of sheets tangling my legs

OK that is enough, even though the list goes on....
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein

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#445027 - 08/21/13 10:43 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1608
Loc: New England
The smell of burning incense, and marijuana.....CRINGE!!
_________________________
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

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#445047 - 08/22/13 12:09 AM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
atari_kid86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/23/10
Posts: 135
Loc: Michigan
- Chrysler cars
- Bacon
- Water parks
- Christmas music
- Churches
- Nick at Nite TV shows

I could go on.

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#445141 - 08/22/13 05:04 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
Publius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 443
Loc: OH
Original Nintendo. It' what he used to lure me into that basement and it's what I escaped into in an attempt to get myself back out of there emotionally.
_________________________
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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#445232 - 08/23/13 08:04 AM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3749
Loc: somewhere in Africa
the smell and feel of waterproofed canvas tents
and the rubberized backing on sleeping bags
_________________________
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"


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#445269 - 08/23/13 04:21 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 769
Loc: upper south
the smell of fresh cut lumber
the smell of dried, baled hay
Polo cologne
dial soap
right guard spray
putrid smell of discarded, old newspapers

...and Todd... you mentioned bleach... I sometimes bleach even my clothes of color so I can smell the bleach in the water and the air.... it gives me a feel of CLEAN... and ruins my colored clothes. But I have a need to purify what I wear. How bizarre is that?
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#445365 - 08/24/13 05:07 PM Re: taboo objects [Re: traveler]
1.healing Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 261
Loc: NW Ohio
I'm no longer triggered by these things and am grateful for it, but I also don't buy them either, no need to for any reason, why tempt fate.

Comet Cleanser, Original Crest Toothpaste, English Leather Cologne (so strange... I actually just got a whiff of it now and a cologne headache). Yellow-Orange Dial Bath Soap, Right Guard Spray Deodorant, Old Dry Wood as in an attic, and for a visual... dust motes in beams of sunlight.
_________________________
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

George Elliot

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Virginia Woolf

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