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#444706 - 08/19/13 05:11 PM Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream
concerned_husky Offline
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Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 760
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Edited by concerned_husky (08/30/15 06:32 AM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.
_________________________
Husky

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#444727 - 08/19/13 08:23 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
KMCINVA Offline
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Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 2699
I am happy for you. You deserve to achieve your dreams. Do not let the b**stards keep you down. I am glad you realize you will no longer be the slave of those try to control you. Your family wants to hold you back--maybe guilt, shame--but that is their issue. Keep moving and go for your dream.

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#444743 - 08/19/13 11:54 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rambler Offline
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Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 134
Loc: Planet Earth
Where is the like button? :thumbup:

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#445026 - 08/21/13 10:43 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
BraveFalcon Offline
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Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1227
Loc: The ATL

Hi Husky. Good luck with this man! It certainly is ambitious. I envision you in the next 25 days as being in this kind of Rocky-eque training/practicing montage, although instead of punching animal carcasses in a meat locker and running up stairs, you're just practicing and practicing and practicing your music like crazy. Maybe with "Eye of the Tiger" playing in the background. smile

Good luck buddy! We're all rooting for you. Peace,

Ken

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#445072 - 08/22/13 07:33 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Suwanee Offline
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Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1075
Loc: Southeast USA
Way to go Husky! I'll just add a couple of quotes from Carl Jung:


"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."

"The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves."


Will
_________________________
I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. ---FDR

I AM

Cruel Summer
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#445116 - 08/22/13 02:48 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
toddop Offline
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Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 233
Loc: California
Husky,

This post was really good for me to read right now. It is great to see you pick up something you really enjoy doing, and working toward it with such purpose. Just mustering the energy to do that must feel amazing.

I am a writer and have put some of my own projects on the back burner for a while to deal with the immediate CSA issues that need attention. This post is an inspiration to me that some day on the horizon I will get to this place you are describing here and dive back into it. Thanks so much for putting this out there.
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein

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#445122 - 08/22/13 03:35 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rich1967 Offline
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Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 487
Loc: PA
Husky,

WOW, that was great. Even if you fail or something doesn't go right you will be the winner because you made that effort and once you make the effort the first time the next time will be easier. Pain is the name of the game. You are in pain when you do nothing and let the abuse rule who you are today and you are in pain when you try to confront the effects of the abuse. I think the trick is to realize that the pain from confronting the effects of abuse has a pay off in the end, or at least a chance of a pay off while not doing anything has no chance.

Great realizations and an attack plan for fighting back. I'm sure it's scary, but you already sound pumped and isn't that an awesome feeling.

I'll be pulling hard for you. This is why I may never leave this site - for moments like this.
_________________________
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
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#445151 - 08/22/13 06:10 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
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Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 760
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Edited by concerned_husky (08/30/15 06:34 AM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.
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Husky

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#445159 - 08/22/13 08:21 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rich1967 Offline
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Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 487
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I think we might have a clue about how much it may mean to you grin; I'm glad we could help and I look forward to hearing how things work out.
_________________________
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
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#445627 - 08/27/13 07:49 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
GT13568 Offline
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Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 173
Loc: California, 93451
I'm really glad to read this post, Husky. Congratulations and good luck on your musical performances!

I wish I could be in the audience (:

I want you to know that your encouragement of me helped a lot in my recent public "performance" of the bed in Berlin and the writing on my blog. Your words gave me courage.

You've got a lot of people on your side. I'm rooting for you.

Geoff
_________________________
I won the moment he hurt me, because he poisoned his soul, and I did not poison mine. I did not hurt anyone. He did. He was the perp. He tried to make me into a victim, but I became a survivor. Yes.

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#445751 - 08/28/13 05:06 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
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Edited by concerned_husky (08/30/15 06:36 AM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.
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Husky

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#445843 - 08/29/13 08:26 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rich1967 Offline
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Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 487
Loc: PA
Thanks for the update and best of luck to you. I can't wait to hear how it goes.
_________________________
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
My Story
Progress

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#446184 - 09/02/13 01:01 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
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Posts: 760
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Edited by concerned_husky (08/30/15 06:37 AM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.
_________________________
Husky

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#446192 - 09/02/13 02:56 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Onesimus75 Offline


Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Minnesota
Husky,
Don't feel bad talking about pursuing your dream?! I'm willing to listen to people's bad times, but I'm very happy to hear about victories! If a BB is to help support and share in each others' struggles, can't we be privileged enough to share a little bit in your success!!!
Keep up the hard work!
Kick butt at your concert.
_________________________
We are not defined by our faults, or our wounds, but by the truth within us, which nothing can take away.

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#446213 - 09/02/13 10:13 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rich1967 Offline
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Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 487
Loc: PA
Your thread is just as important as the other ones and hearing how someone is making efforts at fighting the effects of CSA is VERY important. I turn here for support as well and there's room for all of us. Besides I really want to know how things are going.

I don't think the timing of the dream is weird at all. Sending out invitations the same day - it's getting more real. It will be harder to stop things now. That can be a good thing too. Pressure to keep moving forward which I hope you do. As you get closer to the event you should expect more fear and that too is a good thing. It can be a great motivator as well. Just remember what you are doing right NOW and these last several days is great! You're already being successful.

You know what I do sometimes when I find myself sinking into thoughts that keep me from succeeding? I reread the stuff I wrote that got me to this point. Reread your original post - it's still awesome!

You are not alone on this journey.
_________________________
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
My Story
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#446224 - 09/02/13 11:50 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
toddop Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 233
Loc: California
Husky,

I can really relate to your most recent response in this post. I think we all have our internal saboteurs that tend to come out when we are letting go of old patterns and rising above challenges. Those internal voices that whisper or yell that we are not worth it, and work against what we are struggling to do. I know I have that in the shape of dreams, daydreams, or just voices in my head all the time.

I now equate the rise of these saboteurs as a key indicator that I am on the right path and that I should not turn back. I think it means you are getting ready to challenge a huge obstacle or huge issue from your past. This concert seems likely to be a big turning point for you. You are reclaiming something vitally important to your sense of self worth. Keep pushing past the dreams and the voices. You are most definitely worth it.

I am so excited for you. It's great that the invitations have been sent out. I would love to witness it, but will be there in spirit cheering you on. Can't wait to hear how it turns out.
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein

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#446254 - 09/02/13 08:41 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
GT13568 Offline
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Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 173
Loc: California, 93451
Todd, I could not say it better.

Husky - I think you're wonderful to take this challenge on. The abused person inside you is a little scared right now, and out of fear he is pressuring you to quit. He will be more comfortable when he sees how strong and brave you are as you perform, and then he'll show you his happy side - the side that got put away when the abuse happened. At that point, he will probably begin to help you out!

I believe in you, whatever happens, Husky.

Geoff
_________________________
I won the moment he hurt me, because he poisoned his soul, and I did not poison mine. I did not hurt anyone. He did. He was the perp. He tried to make me into a victim, but I became a survivor. Yes.

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#446293 - 09/03/13 09:58 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
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Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 760
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Edited by concerned_husky (08/30/15 06:38 AM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.
_________________________
Husky

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#446298 - 09/03/13 10:42 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rich1967 Offline
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Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 487
Loc: PA
I think it's already too late to call it failed. You've come to far. It can only be "not as good as it could have been" now which of course leads to "so for the next time I will do x, y, and z to make it even better".

Just remember the little guy inside you is trying to protect you. He means well so don't be mad at him. Thank him for worrying about you and tell him it's going to be OK. You know what you are doing and will take care of him and yourself.

I too will be there in spirit!

Keep being strong.
_________________________
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
My Story
Progress

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#446351 - 09/03/13 05:27 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
KMCINVA Offline
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Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 2699
Having a gosl, a dream shows you have hope and are learning to understsnd what makes you happy. So many people lack a dream or gosl, just go with thebflow and resent those who dream or encourge them to dream and seek. For many of us here fear has held us captive to the abuser and to a part of us that felt special to the abuser. You are moving beyond this fear. You are achieving an important dream to be free of the abuse while seeking something special and important to you. Keep going forward.

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#446370 - 09/03/13 08:44 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
traveler Offline
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Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3889
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Husky -

i have followed this thread with interest and excitement - willing you on to do well. i am in no way a musician - so didn't feel i had anything to add - but then thought of how i would feel before a play and see if that might transfer. so - here it is - for whatever it is worth.

in preparing for a performance an actor must become the character he or she is portraying. i am guessing that you have chosen pieces of music that speak to you deeply and express something that you intensely wish to communicate. with that in mind - may you "become the music" - lose yourself in the moment and play for the joy (and any other relevant emotion) of the compositions - and not just for the audience's approval. i hope you won't even think of success or failure - or any degrees thereof. my favorite director always told us just before curtain - "have fun with it!"

all the best as you finish well,
lee
_________________________
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

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#446939 - 09/11/13 10:09 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
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Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 760
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Edited by concerned_husky (08/31/15 09:43 PM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.
_________________________
Husky

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#447008 - 09/12/13 05:54 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rich1967 Offline
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Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 487
Loc: PA
Husky,

I'm so excited for you! Break a leg. I looked it up and apparently that phrase is ok for musicians as well as actors just in case there was some confusion as to whether I was really talking to Lee or to you :-)

I hope you let us know how it turns out.
_________________________
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
My Story
Progress

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#447136 - 09/13/13 07:20 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 462
Loc: NY
Husky:

I know it doesn't really apply but.....rock on.

FB
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#447362 - 09/16/13 02:32 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 760
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Edited by concerned_husky (08/31/15 09:44 PM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.
_________________________
Husky

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#447363 - 09/16/13 03:11 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
Rich1967 Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 487
Loc: PA
Thank you so much for letting us know how it turned out. It's been a journey for you and one that you were able to share with us and I'm sure it has and will help others on their journey. It was awesomely hopeful and inspiring for me - thank you.

I'm very happy for you that you see it as a great leaning experience even though it wasn't perfect. You really did learn a lot of things that will help you along the way.

I'm sure the next concert will be even better, and the next one...
_________________________
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
My Story
Progress

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#447398 - 09/16/13 09:13 PM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
BraveFalcon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1227
Loc: The ATL

Hi Huskey. Good for you for going through with it. I know it took a hell of a lot of courage to get up in front of people when you had doubts about yourself. Don't feel bad that things didn't go perfectly. I know I've heard interviews in the past with famous and successful musicians who say that their first concerts were a disaster and they kept at it until they were famous and successful. You say that your concert wasn't a disaster, so it sounds like you're ahead of the game there. Thank you for sharing your story and your experience with us here. I only wish I could have been in the audience that night. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#447416 - 09/17/13 12:09 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
GT13568 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 173
Loc: California, 93451
Jesus, Husky. I feel so lucky that I logged in today and read this post.

I am so proud of you - and for you.

Your new understandings are exactly what I and we need to read.

Congratulations, a million times. Your talent, and your effort, speak for all of us, and speak especially for you - Husky: survivor and thriver.

Thank you for being brave. Thank you for doing this concert humbly, and wirh an open mind, as we should all approach our journey. I feel like you are a living a Greek myth, where a man triumphs over circumstances thrown at him by the gods simply by persevering, and by being human. I'm human too, as we all are. Isn't that wonderful? We are small and we can do great things. I mean great in human scale, in terms of the lessons we can learn by taking a risk.

I respect you and the example you set enormously.

Geoff
_________________________
I won the moment he hurt me, because he poisoned his soul, and I did not poison mine. I did not hurt anyone. He did. He was the perp. He tried to make me into a victim, but I became a survivor. Yes.

Top
#447421 - 09/17/13 12:54 AM Re: Transcending CSA in Realizing a Dream [Re: concerned_husky]
toddop Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 233
Loc: California
Husky,

I am so glad to hear about your journey with the concert. Really you have just documented the SOLUTION as it applies to survivors. You took us from the idea, through the planning, through the actual experience, and now finally to the outcome since that experience. All the time, you have let us come along on your inner journey with the challenges from the CSA, how it has opened up new areas of thought, and how you have swatted those concerns and challenges aside and pushed forward. All of which led to new revelations you may never have had if you would have never done it.

I am very inspired by this thread. You are a winner and my hero for doing this concert. I am sure it was beautiful music because it came from your heart. This post is certainly music to my ears. Keep moving onward and upward!!
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein

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