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#441665 - 07/21/13 11:10 PM From Confrontation to the Courtroom
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1202
...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 08:47 PM)
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#441667 - 07/21/13 11:27 PM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: Chase Eric]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
By "see him in a courtroom" do you mean observing a scheduled step in his current incarceration (parole hearing, psych review, etc), or finding other victims not excluded by SOL's and trying to urge them to press criminal / civil charges?

One thought: visit any rape crisis / survivor resource centers in the hometown and put up leaflets. Were you abused by so-and-so, please call XYZ, etc.
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#441711 - 07/22/13 07:49 AM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: SoccerStar]
Chase Eric Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1202
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Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 08:47 PM)
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#441713 - 07/22/13 07:58 AM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: Chase Eric]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 05:41 PM)

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#441731 - 07/22/13 10:57 AM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: Chase Eric]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1433
That is awesome. I am also on a journey to unmask the perp. My story of getting justice is somewhat different. My abuse occurred in Connecticut and the statute of limitations has been exceeded. No court approved actions available.

I have brought the abuse to the attention of the parish--it was necessitated by my having to go to the church, where the abuse took place in the cellar, to bury my Mom. I blurted out to the priest what happened days before the Mass and he took me to the cellar so I would be able to make it through the funeral. He was understanding and compassionate--not what I expected. So the parish knows the place and time and date (I presume they have pieced the who). This was in October 2012. The priest gave me a contact at the Diocese. I looked and looked at the information for months--but only after I had solidified a contact that I met through an on-line ad and who also had been abused same place and time. He had another contact who also was a victim. We contacted a law firm that has handled many cases against the Diocese of Bridgeport. They took our story and they were extremely similar--all same place time and who. But we learned the realities of law--only option seek personal damages directly with the diocese and not the courts--we have corroborative information--but learned the process could be debilitating and the outcome uncertain but in the past the diocese has given monetary support requiring non disclosure of actions and settlement. We are not sure if we will proceed--each of us have our issues to address and need the strength to persevere the ordeal.

After this meeting I contacted the diocese and had an extensive talk with the Director of Safe Environments--very compassionate and offered support. But I am out of state and will have to coordinate with diocese in VA. I was shocked at the compassion and understanding. I could tell the parish priest had contacted her and she awaited my call. I also feel she did her homework and knows who it is. Some believe this is why she offered support--and I guess they are right.

So the parish and diocese know of the abuse and harm they have done to me. Does the perp know they know? I do not know but this helps me feel in control. I do not know if I need to have a face to face with the abuser. I have sat in front of his home hoping he would emerge, but he has not. I will not do this again because the doctor and therapist fear how I will react. So I am on the journey to resolve but know I am in control of what I decide to do--I also am satisfied the parish and diocese know of the abuse and believe in my heart they understand and accept the abuse as reality--no denial on their part.

Maybe this is all I need.

Thank you for sharing and in our own ways we are trying to bring justice to our wounded selves. What you have done is not crazy--it is admirable for you to have the strength to pursue--because only you know what is right for you. Good luck

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#441733 - 07/22/13 11:11 AM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: Chase Eric]
toddop Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 206
Loc: California
Hey Eirik,

This is a great path you have embarked on. I would not characterize it as an obsession, crazy or stupid. Call it stubborn if you want. I call it finally being able to action on something that has felt out of control for most of your life. A chance for closure, yes. But, also a chance for you to actually do something in regard to the perpetrator instead of reacting to him. And that I applaud.

Nobody else has to understand it but you. It is your journey. But, I understand it. I would want to do the same thing. And I think a lot of guys on here would want to as well if the opportunity presented itself.

You do deserve that moment, Eirik. And I hope you get it.

Todd
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"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
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#441735 - 07/22/13 11:32 AM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: Chase Eric]
txb Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 159
Argh, I just deleted my whole reply. So annoying. What I was saying was that I was in a psychiatric unit last year. It was a locked unit but you could leave at any time unless you were under a court order forcing you to be there. The court order stuff was for people who were thought to be a danger to themselves or other people. Not that they had actually harmed anyone, just that there was the risk. If they had actually harmed someone and committed a crime then they'd be in secure hospital, maybe attached to a prison. The fact you can just walk in and visit this guy makes it seem more like he's having some psychiatric issues now, rather than something to do with abusing kids. It's highly likely he did continue abusing kids though. I live in a different country so this information might be completely useless. Answering your questions is the least he could do after what he did to you. I hope you find some way to get the answers you need.

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#441746 - 07/22/13 01:08 PM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: txb]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1202
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Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 08:47 PM)
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#441767 - 07/22/13 04:39 PM ! [Re: Chase Eric]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:05 PM)

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#441779 - 07/22/13 05:47 PM Re: From Confrontation to the Courtroom [Re: Chase Eric]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 758
Loc: upper south
Yes, sir. You deserve the moment you have described and rest assured, many of us have the same thoughts. I even tried to file charges against one of the guys who had me, but the follow-up and interest on the part of law enforcement was limited. So I did get to the point where I WANTED to sit in the courtroom opposite the man, but I didn't know how to make that happen.

This is what maybe I recommend. Hell, I don't maybe recommend it, I do for certain. Be patient. Follow your instincts. Follow your leads. Make your contacts. You'll get your answers. When you do have the privilege of sitting in the courtroom and seeing this guy held accountable for his behavior, at that point when he begins to scan the people and he glances back and locks into your eyes, he WILL KNOW YOU have emerged victor. Man, what an image that is! And as you look eye to eye, Eric, let it be remembered that there are thousands of us who are with you. Thousands who want and need justice, and that justice was denied. (sounds like I am at a rally).

You go guy!!
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