I have also read somewhere that before being a survivor we must first be a victim. My interpretation of what this means is that before we can overcome what happened to us we have to accept and grieve for every bit of what happened. I did not even begin to open up the pandoras box of what happened to me when I was younger until I was in college.
At first when I started having "episodes" it was as if all the memories exploded, and I after I picked up the pieces I simply shoved them back in and closed it shut again. I wasn't allowing myself to feel like a victim, I felt like it was my fault and as if I had molested myself. Then I began to embrace what happened to me, with the help of my therapist, and I grieved and grieved. I began to accept myself as a victim, and afterwards I began to feel more like a survivor.
I wasn't a victim until I allowed myself to relive the memories without shame, and allowed myself to grieve afterwards for what I lost. When I began doing that, I started to have fewer episodes, and began to feel more confident. I was able to shift the anger off of myself and onto my perp, and in a way that left me at peace. Today, there are still many times where I feel like a victim, but there are many more where I feel like a survivor.