Thanks Jude, the bitch problem is I live in a Country where therapies like those are none existent. I just found this article about the neurological effects of CSA and it really is accurate. I have tried Cognitive Behavioral therapy on my self by myself through autodidactic teaching and books, but my brain can only do so much on its own.
The article states how CSA cause temporal Lobe epilepsy and dimished growth of certain areas in the brain.http://188.8.131.52/curricular/hhd2006/news/wounds.pdf
Through Cognitive therapy I have come close to enabling new structures in my brains constitution I can even feel my brain changing sometimes, as crazy as that may sound. Think of it of somehow rebooting your brain from working on one type of voltage to another, it borderlines on someone stapling notes to your brain pain wise.
It's the PTSD that gets worse when I get closer to the unhealthy structure memories in my brain.
And some days I feel like I'm not gonna make it,yet I see glimpses of the silver lining and push on.
Omega 3 in concentrated forms has been helping with the neural pain.
Apparently CSA cause the left side of your brain to decrease and the right to compensate causing overstimulation of your limbic system, the limbic system is where some argue love is developed neurally. So if RAPE entered your limbic hard dive then RAPE is the software your running on your CPU instead of love.
Mentation,reflection and a dose of madness have aided me in changing the faulty software.. Fuck man. I wish none of us had to go through this shit.