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#44442 - 05/10/05 06:50 AM What constitutes as being called a Survivor
andrew76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 118
Loc: Florida
Want to start this one out as things have been happening to me and around me recently my survivorship has come into play and thinking about this has helped me make some very hard decisions so here goes.I hope this helps someone else here as we all from time to time have doubts in our own abilities this is to help those that second guess themselves including myself.


What is a survivor?

A survivor is a person that has gone thru the very roughest times and storms in their life and has had the chance to take in what has either happened to them or has happened around them even in the worst circumstances and has had the chance to learn from the experience but at the same time has made a choice in their own life to not allow the same thing to take them down the same path or if the same path is taken another route is just a stones throw away to lead the person away from the circumstance and when they cannot be lead away they find a way to get through no matter how bad things get.

A survivor is a person that takes lemons and turns them into lemonade and learns at the same time and avoids what it is that made them learn the lesson in the first place.A survivor is a person that takes no crap and if they do take crap they learn to channel it in another way so others won't be affected by their decisions.

A survivor is a person that wants to get back up in times where things force the person down and out rather then giving up and letting go they get back into the ring and fight no matter the odds facing them.A survivor is a person that wants to help others learn from their own mistakes so that the mistakes won't be made by another person or if mistakes are made they don't have to learn the very hard lesson the person before them had to learn.

A survivor is a person that can move past things without forgetting what has happened to them but at the same time the person realizes things can grow and change and that they don't have to remain the very same they have been.A survivor is a person that can forgive even in the most bleak times and circumstances even if that means the person has to swallow their own pride and hurt to help another person struggling.

A survivor is a person that offers a hand of support to another person when they see another struggling and want them to get up and fight while at the same time telling the person down that they can make it and can lick what ever it is that brought them to the very position that they have been placed into.

A survivor is a person that in the very worst times of their life deals with what has them down and decides that life is what they make it for themselves not what others make it for them.A survivor is a person that may have thoughts and feelings of wanting to throw in the towel but just can't find it in them to throw in the towel for good because they see something on the other side that may just bring them through no matter how minor it may be.

A survivor is a person that makes a decision in their own life that betters themselves with the help of others even when the person is not asking for help others lend their ear or offer words of encouragement and the person going thru the circumstance decides to listen to those wanting to help instead of shutting them out and avoiding the issues.


A survivor is a person that can later on after the circumstances have shaped the person can say to themselves I made it even when they did not know how or why they were fighting but for some reason they made it through not just by the skin of their teeth but by flying colors.


These thoughts above have been on my mind over the last month that have had even me of all people questioning why and how I am going to survive what I am going thru and facing.I find myself asking even more now how I am going to make it through but some how I know no matter what I have to go through I will be known as a fighter and as a survivor and I truely hope no matter what happens to me I can make a difference in someone elses life even if it only a small difference.I am making the decision I will fight and will try to lick the circumstances I am dealing with in front of me even though I don't see a way out right now I just need to find the correct tunnel and follow the light.

_________________________


Eye of tiger stares down perp,tiger teeth rips perp to shreds
to be abused kills the soul
to survive is to live the ultimate punishment

Knocking on hells door!!

To be silenced is an American amendment right violation,free speech

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#44443 - 05/12/05 07:13 PM Re: What constitutes as being called a Survivor
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I think sometime we try to see things to much more complicated then they are. A survivor to me is someone who make it through what happen alive, and do not turn to doing the same bad things to another person.

Andrei


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#44444 - 05/12/05 08:04 PM Re: What constitutes as being called a Survivor
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
I'm reading "How long does it hurt?" it's this book for teens about abuse. The author says "...being a survivor is the goal..." 'cause you have to be a victim of something before you can call yourself a survivor. I kinda agree with that. It's really hard to think of yourself as a survivor if you don't believe you were a victim. I'm struggling with this big time 'cause when I hear the word victim I think of someone who's weak, small and girly. But I know I'm not ready to call myself a survivor, the abuse is way too recent and scary. I'm still trying to survive and get better. Maybe future survivor? My counsellor says all her kids are "survivors in training" \:\)


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#44445 - 05/12/05 11:47 PM Re: What constitutes as being called a Survivor
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
"I" got this far, "I" survived the years of pain and crap, "I" did it- not alone I admit, but "I" drove my recovery.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#44446 - 05/16/05 07:43 AM Re: What constitutes as being called a Survivor
bisulatino Offline
Member

Registered: 03/11/03
Posts: 70
Loc: San Diego, CA
I have also read somewhere that before being a survivor we must first be a victim. My interpretation of what this means is that before we can overcome what happened to us we have to accept and grieve for every bit of what happened. I did not even begin to open up the pandoras box of what happened to me when I was younger until I was in college.

At first when I started having "episodes" it was as if all the memories exploded, and I after I picked up the pieces I simply shoved them back in and closed it shut again. I wasn't allowing myself to feel like a victim, I felt like it was my fault and as if I had molested myself. Then I began to embrace what happened to me, with the help of my therapist, and I grieved and grieved. I began to accept myself as a victim, and afterwards I began to feel more like a survivor.

I wasn't a victim until I allowed myself to relive the memories without shame, and allowed myself to grieve afterwards for what I lost. When I began doing that, I started to have fewer episodes, and began to feel more confident. I was able to shift the anger off of myself and onto my perp, and in a way that left me at peace. Today, there are still many times where I feel like a victim, but there are many more where I feel like a survivor.


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