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#443036 - 08/02/13 11:20 AM Straight but into men?
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:38 PM)

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#443085 - 08/02/13 06:42 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1790
Interesting article. I can see how the abuse can cause imprinting. It goes back to re-enactment victims enter into to alleviate the pain and feel somewhat in control-but always as the victim. Not for this reason alone, it is so important for victims to get help to heal so they can gain the life the deserve and leave behind the control the abuser has over us.

I also believe if people look at victims who dissociate with sex. The level of dissociation varies (and some have no recollection of the sex) and for these people emotional connection lacks but rather attempts to satisfy the pain that lurks within due to the abuse. The dissociation is automatic, defense mechanism to protect us. Sadly, for many victims dissociation becomes a maladaptive coping mechanism. I have lived it and only now in mid life and I am learning new coping mechanisms and it requires facing and accepting the abuse.


Edited by KMCINVA (08/03/13 09:44 AM)

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#443090 - 08/02/13 06:55 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
Lost Mountain Offline


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
I used to be a delivery driver in the adult biz and you would be surprised how many married men in business suits were in the peep booths on their knees.

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#443158 - 08/03/13 04:02 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Joe Kort is a non-anonymous member here. His posts and website are helpful for the conflicted (and isolated) male with SSA.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showprofile&User=8361


Edited by GoldStone (08/04/13 05:07 AM)

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#443749 - 08/08/13 01:35 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
1.healing Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 261
Loc: NW Ohio
Hi Bodyguard,

Thanks for sharing this link, it has the potential to help some guys. Unfortunately many of them are uncomfortable venturing to this forum, perhaps you can find a place for it in one of the other ones too, where it will get more readership.

Go figure that a gay man, Joe Kort, who's a therapist would help other men unravel their sexual identities. I've almost always known I was gay, even before I knew the words for it, but obviously it isn't that easy for everyone. Who of us hasn't met someone confused or conflicted about their sexual identity? Nice to know there's at least a few healers out there who can help these men find the answers, more understanding and hopefully greater acceptance of themselves. Quite an accomplishment, I think!

Gary / 1.healing
_________________________
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

George Elliot

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Virginia Woolf

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#444314 - 08/14/13 04:53 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
Lost Mountain Offline


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
I know I sort of made fun of the fact about str8 men but truth be told I do understand it because I have the same feelings I am a married man but feel the need to be held by a another man. This actually the very first time I have admitted it. and I am scared as hell

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#444480 - 08/16/13 11:07 AM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
1.healing Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 261
Loc: NW Ohio
Hi Lost Mountain,

I'm glad that you could tell how you want to be held by another man and that even to say it is frightening as hell! To do that takes courage and bravery. Myself I'm a gay man and was abused by on older male cousin as a kid. My issues are different than yours and yet the same in many ways. Please, know that I support you in your quest to find greater healing, acceptance and understanding of your own CSA and ASA issues. Please, keep visiting and posting, hope to see you here again.

Gary / 1.healing
_________________________
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

George Elliot

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Virginia Woolf

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#444603 - 08/18/13 12:42 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: 1.healing]
Lost Mountain Offline


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
Thanks Healing it is a long row to hoe but has to be done!

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#445725 - 08/28/13 01:28 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:55 PM)

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#446631 - 09/07/13 02:55 PM Re: Straight but into men? [Re: bodyguard8367]
Lost Mountain Offline


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
Thanks Bodyguard I do love hugs, but ya see I am in a weird situation and I am not even talking about being married that is a whole nother ball of wax, the problem is I do not trust men. I think they are liars and pigs and will hurt you in a heartbeat, Present company excluded, ya know what I mean. I have learned over the years the minute I let my guard down to a man I am either getting beaten or used so I stay far away from them. Hell I do not even have any friends because of it. Kinda sucks I miss the friendship but the fear outweighs the other. there I go rambling again. laters

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