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#444309 - 08/14/13 03:31 PM Choosing to stay centered
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
There must be somthin' happenin' here ...

Increasingly, I'm getting this sense that I have a choice to follow the emotional demons into self loathing and jealousy (as has been my life long pattern) or to stay centered and aware.

It seems like such a cliche to say that and to see myself type that. That's what therapists have been telling me for years. But I'm starting to experience what that means now.

When difficult situations arise, I am starting to have the ability to stay present to my passing feelings, and decide who I want to be in the moment (how do I want to respond?). How do I want to present myself, and what impression do I want to leave with the other person?

This has given me a level of flexibility I wasn't expecting to find. In staying present to my feelings while simultaneously making decisions on how I want to present, and what impression I want to leave, I find that I have so much more freedom in how to respond. And if I don't know how to respond, I can say that I need to mull it over and address it when I know what to do.

At the end of the day in all of this - I am learning that I can trust my feelings. This seems to be the biggest part of all of this. My feelings are no longer constantly lying to me or provoking me to act out. My gut instincts are pointing me to head in directions. And the times that I'm unsure of what to do, I just let it be for the moment until I've had some time to process the feeling.

Weird. Recovery is weird.

_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#444310 - 08/14/13 04:09 PM Re: Choosing to stay centered [Re: Magellan]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
Magellan,

You are my goddamn hero.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#444546 - 08/17/13 11:32 AM Re: Choosing to stay centered [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
Wow, cant.

I can honestly say I've never in my life received a compliment like that.

You really made my day and brought a big smile to my face.

Thank you!

laugh
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#444575 - 08/17/13 10:45 PM Re: Choosing to stay centered [Re: Magellan]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Magellan
....I am learning that I can trust my feelings.
Holy Moley! Do you know how HUGE that is? After so many years of being told that what you feel isn't real or worthy....that what you think is crazy, you are saying "NO! What I feel and think is who I am and I DO MATTER!"
BRAVO!
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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