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#82338 - 03/12/06 09:33 PM My first poem (possible Triggers)
kniob Offline
Member

Registered: 03/04/06
Posts: 47
Loc: NC, USA
It happens,
I cry...I feel shame,
I die inside.

It happens again,
I cry harder,
I wish for death.

It doesn't stop,
I go numb,
I pray for death.

It happens again,
I feel nothing,
I seek death.

It won't stop,
No joy,
I try to die.

I fail,
I cry at my failure,
Inside I die some more.

Again it happens,
Joy has left replaced by sadness,
I welcome death.

I seek death,
I find death,
He does not grant my wish.

He leaves me,
I am alone,
I shut down.

And it continues to happen...


-Zach

_________________________
If I die, he wins.
Losing is not an option.

Forgive yourself.

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#82339 - 03/12/06 10:08 PM Re: My first poem (possible Triggers)
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Hear you. Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#82340 - 03/12/06 10:17 PM Re: My first poem (possible Triggers)
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11023
Loc: Denver, CO
I hear that one too, Zach. Loud and clear.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#82341 - 03/12/06 11:49 PM Re: My first poem (possible Triggers)
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Zach,

I usually like to cut out a piece and comment on a brother's poem, but in this case I want to just say that I understand you and I don't judge you.

Yes, it really was that bad. I don't deny that. But we have so much to live for, and one of the great joys of recovery is the rediscovery of that fact.

There are so many hands extended to you Zach. Reach out and take them.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#82342 - 03/12/06 11:54 PM Re: My first poem (possible Triggers)
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Zach,

You are among friends here. We've been there, and because we have, we can say with honesty that we love you and we understand, no strings attached.

{{{{{{{{ZACH}}}}}}}}

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#443318 - 08/05/13 02:46 AM Re: My first poem (possible Triggers) [Re: kniob]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3018
Loc: O Kanada
superheavy.

'it' happens. you are right about that.

you live.
you survive.
you thrive.

there is a reason that your death wish was not granted.
you have purpose and value.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#443365 - 08/05/13 12:30 PM Re: My first poem (possible Triggers) [Re: kniob]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
Hi Zach

I wish ... with every fiber of my body ...

that I could say ...

" I don't understand "

I do.
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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