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#443035 - 08/02/13 11:20 AM Straight but like gay sex???
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:38 PM)

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#443044 - 08/02/13 12:37 PM Re: Straight but like gay sex??? [Re: bodyguard8367]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
Awesome article - thanks for pointing it out. I am so Father Hunger and once admitting that it's helped. I think I'm a cross between some of the other ones. I didn't see a category that quite fits. I think I'm sexually aroused by the male body as a result of my abuse because it was the first sexual experience I had besides masturbation. Everything about the male body was sexualized from that point on. I think that's a cross between Acting out early-childhood sexual abuse and Sexual orientation toward men but emotional/romantic orientation toward women. I love my wife.

The one that I'm just not willing to fully admit to is Seeking intensely arousing but personally shameful experiences (e.g., penetration by a dildo, bondage). Is this me or is this me because of the abuse...

I've always felt like it was weird not fully knowing the people we pure out guts out to at this site, but with stuff like this I rather enjoy the blanket of anonymity.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#444188 - 08/13/13 09:31 AM Re: Straight but like gay sex??? [Re: bodyguard8367]
EdfromNYC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 233
Loc: New York City
Joe Kort was a sex doctor on this site and his posts are still up. You can look here http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=76&page=1.

I read some of the comments and was recently talking to a guy in a sex addiction group who had sex with men and women and his standard for being gay matched a standard in the comments to this article on HuffPo: "the ultimate "test" has always been whether you fall in love with other men." I agree with this. I thought I was gay since I was having sex with men and enjoying it and I tried to pursue relationships but I was never that interested after the sex. I've never even approached falling in love with another guy. I've wanted relationships with women but was always conflicted about being sexual with them. Having sex with men as an outlet allowed me to avoid dealing with the complications. Now I am dealing with them and seeing a better future filled with less confusion.



Edited by EdfromNYC (08/13/13 09:32 AM)
_________________________
And more, much more, the heart may feel,
Than the pen may write or the lip reveal.
Winthrop Mackworth Praed

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#444399 - 08/15/13 01:41 PM Re: Straight but like gay sex??? [Re: bodyguard8367]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 186
Loc: Canada
.


Edited by Adam A Gedman (11/08/13 05:33 PM)
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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#444632 - 08/18/13 08:56 PM Re: Straight but like gay sex??? [Re: bodyguard8367]
AndyS87 Offline


Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 302
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
Joe Kort was one of the first people I read about, when I was in the worst of my confusion, who spoke of male sexual abuse victims and the ways they act out. Whenever I read those words "Trauma Turned into Orgasm", it was like a thunderclap in my brain. Suddenly it all just kind of fell together in this huge realization, and I went "OHHHHH, that's what that was all about! Boy do I feel relieved!". I then spoke about it with my therapist at the time who was like "Oh yeah, I hadn't had a chance to speak to you about that yet, but that happens very often in these cases". That bit of knowledge was huge in helping clear things up for me and getting me on a stable recovery path. I've still got a lot of work to do in clearing up the shame and embarrassment, but at least I've got a more solid grasp of my identity now.

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