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#442659 - 07/30/13 06:41 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
freeze-on Offline


Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 72
Loc: southeast
thanks guys ....i cannot comment further at present...but thanks for your time and hearts....take care of em.

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#442697 - 07/30/13 10:38 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: bodyguard8367]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367

Oftentimes I imagine that I am wearing armor, and possess many weapons, and I travel time and space to my younger self. I "rescue" him from his shameful surroundings and affirm his young life. I tell him I know he couldn't stop it, I thank him for facing it so that WE would have a future. I hug him and comfort him and speak harshly to those who make him cry. I bear up his weight and carry him back to my present and promise him to never let him go. All of these things are paying me heavy dividends as I nurture Myself.



I love you Geoff! What a hero!

(putting my armor on and picking up that sword) Let's fly!


Edited by GoldStone (07/30/13 10:39 PM)

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#442745 - 07/31/13 10:41 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
what a great thread. couldn't have imagined this kind of response.

soul tie - something that happens when you have sex with someone whether you want it to or not. two souls connecting.

to answer the "how long" question... the pastor suggested that it's a daily struggle, daily prayer, daily work. he even mentioned having prayed over his soul ties THAT morning. to me, i believe it's tantamount to recovery... not a destination, but a journey.

I especially appreciate the ultimate truth discussion on this thread... acceptance. acceptance as the nuclear bomb to an abusive soul tie. acceptance of ourselves, rejection of the perpetrator and everything they felt, desired, thought, and stood for. acceptance as the means to moving forward.

thank you brothers for your openness.
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#442759 - 07/31/13 12:14 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:29 PM)

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#442784 - 07/31/13 05:32 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
nolan79 Offline


Registered: 06/22/13
Posts: 32
Loc: sc, united states
That was an awesome breakdown. Very enlightening.
_________________________
Every hidden secret will eventually find light

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#442941 - 08/01/13 08:09 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 758
Loc: upper south
Yes. Thank you for this thread. I am beginning to understand how and why I have such mixed feelings after all these years and all these assaults. I hate to admit, but a part of somewhere deep within is still tied to two in particular. How, oh how, can we finally sever these ties? I am so ready to be freed.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#442971 - 08/01/13 10:36 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 264
Loc: MO
To csasurvivor 1992 and everyone else,
*Triggers*

This is a long and intricate thread.

Perhaps it is just that I am a child of the sixties. We all experimented and enjoyed sex, rarely were there any truth depth in these relationships. Don't get me wrong most of the women I had sex with, I was fond of. And I was careful to be respectful and tried to perform safe sex.

With the sexual abuse experiences I had there was no "soul ties."

My brother ejaculated, while playing, it even suprized him. When he manipulated me to participate in a mutual oral sexual performance, he stopped before he performed anything and berated me for being a homosexual. I was so needy and wanted his acceptance so much I still wanted him to further abuse me.

Perhaps the neediness and willingness to participate in the abuse are what the paster meant by soul ties. When the photographer took pictures, while my mother instructed me to undress, there were no soul ties involved.

When my mother's friend molested me, lectured me about the homosexual relations of 6th Century B. C. E. Greeks, there was no soul ties. When he almost made me pass out when he raped my mouth, and me thinking my mother who was just upstairs wanted me service him. And then when he would come upstairs and I would pretend to be asleep, and he would suck me off and insist that I return the performance. When he took me to his house and celebrated his birthday by performing an anal rape on me, thee were no soul ties. Did I like the experience of ejaculating. Of course. Did it have any depth of meaning for me. NO way.

Maybe it is just that I am a Jew. My experience with the presence of God and his Spirit, is not the same as others. But for me sex and soul ties are totally different experiences.

When I was married and my wife did not want to participate in sex more than once a month, this wasn't a soul tie, it was a sexual dysfunction.

There were times when there were soul ties, when we went to a cathedral in Montreal on our honeymoon, when she brought me to drink water from the old spring on the farm where she grew up. When I noticed the crocusis coming out of the snow in early spring during my courtship with my now ex wife.

But, being fucked up the ass with no consideration of any sexual release for me, just pain, is not a soul tie. etc. etc.

Perhaps it is my physical trauma which included being attacked at least twice a month by my father from age 4 to 15. Witnessing physical abuse of other family members (most frequently my mother) at least weekly. This may have enabled me have suppress all feelings of attachment, all ties including soul ties.

I don't know. What I appreciate is your openness and bravery sharing about you experience that led you to experience souls ties. I did not.

We all have different stories, but we all are just the same.


Edited by genedebs (08/01/13 10:37 PM)

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#443031 - 08/02/13 10:42 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:37 PM)

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#443326 - 08/05/13 04:35 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 827
Loc: Kc,Mo
There is a book called breaking unhealthy soul ties and it changed my life . It allowed me to see that I could not be a victim my whole life if I wanted to walk with God . It really helped me realize a lot of things in my life and how Soul Ties played a huge part of me not being able to be free.
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#446047 - 08/31/13 11:32 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 264
Loc: PA
I know this is an old thread AND it has a lot of religious undertones so it may be in the wrong forum, but felt compelled to post anyway. Sorry if some find the thread offensive.

I happen to be a very religious person, but don't usually bring it into my discussions with others unless I know they are OK with it. My T also was a minister for my church. We believe that spiritual things have a basis in natural things. We understand that soul ties is the conjunction of souls which happens when the seed of a man is passed to another. So does that mean if no seed (sperm) was passed that there is no conjunction on a spiritual level? I would argue not, but I think it's different when no seed passes from one to the other.

In my case my seed definitely passed to my stepfather, but his did not pass to me as far as I can remember. I wonder if that plays a role in why I just can't bear the thought of being in the same room with him now and that he has tried so hard to be good to me since he started getting better himself. He got baptized several years ago and my wife and I flew down to FL just for the service to support him. I hate the fact that it was obviously very important to him that I was there. I hate it that I felt happy for him and could tell the whole event had a very powerful impact for him on his life. I hate that I left my seed in him - he didn't/doesn't deserve it.

OK, this is one of those "shakes me to the core" kind of threads.

Breath.

For the most part little Rich has been forgiven and I love him and try to take care of him as best I can. I am human so every once in a while we get into discussions about wanting/seeking out the sex, but we work it out. He's a cool kid and deserved better. I also have started loving who I am today. Emphasis on started. It's the only reason I can participate here at MS. As nice as everyone is here I still panic about posting sometimes. I'll make friends here and in one breath know they like me because I would make a pretty cool friend for someone but in another breath can't understand why they would want to be friends with me.

I think as I've been able to successfully love myself I've lessened the effects of that bond, soul tie, spiritual connection, or whatever you want to call it to my abuser and replaced it with not just a better relationship with my wife, but my in laws and particularly one of my brother in laws that is a real brother to me now, my cousin, and most especially my brothers here at MS.

All this makes me think that my decision, despite pressure to do otherwise, to NOT have anymore contact with my stepfather IS the right decision for me in order to cut all soul ties. That decision makes me feel better.

The only other thing I want to add, and I've said it in other posts, is that I think sexual abuse is the worst thing that can happen to someone. This thread helps to prove why. Not only is sexual abuse a natural crime, but it is also a spiritual one and therefor MUCH harder to recover from.

Again, I hope no one finds this offensive and that maybe it will be helpful for your own recovery process.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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