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#44283 - 02/05/06 02:22 PM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Adam, You know how you felt in your closet...you and only you. Therapists are people just like everyone else. It is important to find a good match...one that you trust. Trust is so important because you are sharing so much of yourself with this person. Only you can decide when that trust is there, but you'll know. There is nothing wrong with changing t's. The right one makes all the difference. Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#44284 - 02/05/06 05:46 PM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Adam, I saw red flags when you mentioned, weeks ago now, that your T was insisting that forgiveness was necessary in order for you to heal.

To my understanding, insistance upon one exact approach to recovery is a red flag to me. I don't get the impression that she's helping you anymore, but at least she helped you open up and talk about it at first.

http://www.forgottenvictims.org/hs_therapist.php


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#44285 - 02/06/06 01:52 AM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
SHadow:

First of all, welcome! I agree with the others that there is nothing wrong with firing your T. I have always felt that if I didn't change in 6 months or if I felt uncomfortable with a T that it was my recovery and I have every right to find another T.

A good T will never tell you how you should feel! A good T will accept you where you are and then gently guide you to recovery by self-discovery. SD

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#44286 - 02/06/06 02:39 AM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
thanks guys i think i need to look for another t

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#44287 - 02/06/06 03:08 AM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
dan_in_newengland Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/01
Posts: 161
Loc: Mass
you do, FIRE HER

dan


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#44288 - 02/06/06 05:11 AM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
Kurt Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/29/03
Posts: 42
Loc: New England
Hi, Adam:

You are certainly under no obligation to continue seeing this person...

In the words of that groovy old Brady Bunch tune-

"When it's time to change
You've got to re-arrange..." : )

Best of luck to you with your search for a therapist who will be a good fit.

_________________________
Kurt

================
"Looking good, Billy Ray!"
"Feeling good, Lewis!"

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#44289 - 02/06/06 04:00 PM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
You should check out this article A Consumers Guide To Therapist Shopping

You are allowed to fire your therapist.

Good luck.


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#44290 - 02/06/06 04:41 PM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Adam,

A therapist who rejects and challenges your feelings like that is harming you at a very basic level. Her task is to help you along YOUR path, not drag you kicking and screaming down hers.

Therapy is vital for you bro, don't lose sight of that. But a therapist that makes you feel devalidated like this is adding to the problem, not resolving it.

I would not confront her, but just say you are feeling uncomfortable and want to seek help from someone else. This happens all the time, and if she takes it badly then maybe you should be offering therapy to her!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#44291 - 02/08/06 07:26 PM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
Born to Resist Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/05
Posts: 269
Loc: Southern California, USA
Adam,

I "fired" my therapist back in October. Before completly stopping therapy with her I used her to help me identify a new therapist. I went into my last session with a list of therapist that were in the network of my health insurance. I asked her if she knew any of them and could recomen anyone. She said she didn't recognize any of the names. We agreed that she would call around doing a prescreen for me and recomend several people. I only used up about 15 minunites of my hour. I told her that since I had another 45 miniutes that I would like that time used for her to do the research necessary to recomend a number of people. Witin a week she was able to give me a list of 5 therapist with a general background on each of them. I then called each of them and conducted my own screening based on the consumer guide to therapist posted on this site and from Mike Lew's book Victims No Longer. The process of searching for the right therapist is healing in itself. I know have a great therapist with lots of experience with SA who I connect with. I've been through 5 therpaist (first 3 were free clinics with only 10 vistis maximum a year) ... this is the first time I actually feel good after a therapy session.

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality


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#44292 - 02/08/06 07:36 PM Re: is it ok to fire my therapist?
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
I'm firing my therapist as well. She just isn't capable of helping me in the way I need to be helped. She's a good T in general, but not in the SA recovery area.


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