Adam, You know how you felt in your closet...you and only you. Therapists are people just like everyone else. It is important to find a good match...one that you trust. Trust is so important because you are sharing so much of yourself with this person. Only you can decide when that trust is there, but you'll know. There is nothing wrong with changing t's. The right one makes all the difference. Bobby

Adam, I saw red flags when you mentioned, weeks ago now, that your T was insisting that forgiveness was necessary in order for you to heal.

To my understanding, insistance upon one exact approach to recovery is a red flag to me. I don't get the impression that she's helping you anymore, but at least she helped you open up and talk about it at first.

http://www.forgottenvictims.org/hs_therapist.php

SHadow:

First of all, welcome! I agree with the others that there is nothing wrong with firing your T. I have always felt that if I didn't change in 6 months or if I felt uncomfortable with a T that it was my recovery and I have every right to find another T.

A good T will never tell you how you should feel! A good T will accept you where you are and then gently guide you to recovery by self-discovery. SD

thanks guys i think i need to look for another t

you do, FIRE HER

dan

Hi, Adam:

You are certainly under no obligation to continue seeing this person...

In the words of that groovy old Brady Bunch tune-

"When it's time to change
You've got to re-arrange..." : )

Best of luck to you with your search for a therapist who will be a good fit.

You should check out this article A Consumers Guide To Therapist Shopping

You are allowed to fire your therapist.

Good luck.

Adam,

A therapist who rejects and challenges your feelings like that is harming you at a very basic level. Her task is to help you along YOUR path, not drag you kicking and screaming down hers.

Therapy is vital for you bro, don't lose sight of that. But a therapist that makes you feel devalidated like this is adding to the problem, not resolving it.

I would not confront her, but just say you are feeling uncomfortable and want to seek help from someone else. This happens all the time, and if she takes it badly then maybe you should be offering therapy to her!

Much love,
Larry

Adam,

I "fired" my therapist back in October. Before completly stopping therapy with her I used her to help me identify a new therapist. I went into my last session with a list of therapist that were in the network of my health insurance. I asked her if she knew any of them and could recomen anyone. She said she didn't recognize any of the names. We agreed that she would call around doing a prescreen for me and recomend several people. I only used up about 15 minunites of my hour. I told her that since I had another 45 miniutes that I would like that time used for her to do the research necessary to recomend a number of people. Witin a week she was able to give me a list of 5 therapist with a general background on each of them. I then called each of them and conducted my own screening based on the consumer guide to therapist posted on this site and from Mike Lew's book Victims No Longer. The process of searching for the right therapist is healing in itself. I know have a great therapist with lots of experience with SA who I connect with. I've been through 5 therpaist (first 3 were free clinics with only 10 vistis maximum a year) ... this is the first time I actually feel good after a therapy session.

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality

I'm firing my therapist as well. She just isn't capable of helping me in the way I need to be helped. She's a good T in general, but not in the SA recovery area.