Newest Members
MorganWut, myrlin, AaronS, BookHouseBoy, WeFallWeRise
12464 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Blakanezebruh (43), OneWithStrength (37), Parker (45), scottyg (42)
Who's Online
4 registered (woodenshoes, finallyhere, don64, 1 invisible), 18 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12464 Members
74 Forums
63991 Topics
446640 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#442722 - 07/31/13 04:02 AM Finally doing this....
Johnny777 Offline


Registered: 06/12/13
Posts: 5
Hi. I'm Johnny. I'm 28. My girlfriend (We'll call her K) abuses me. I love her dearly and I never thought I'd be in a situation like this. We've been dating for about eight months and shes been hurting me sexually, mentally and physically for about the past six months. The worst part has been the sexual abuse because it goes on every day. One night K got really high, she told me that if I didn't have sex with her she would kill my daughter. It hasn't stopped since then. Every night I say no and every night K makes me have sex with her. She has ran off all my friends and I feel so alone that I want to die. I just need to know that I still matter.

Top
#442723 - 07/31/13 04:15 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: Johnny777]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi Johny, welcome to Male survivor.
I'm sorry to hear about problems with your girlfriend.
Have you tried to look for some help? Did you call someone? Do you have any friends or family with whom you could talk about all this?

Be aware that you are not alone; talk with us and share your thoughts.
I'm sure there are a lot of people in similar situation and you could find some answers how to protect self and your daughter while reading other posts.
Be well!


Pero
_________________________
My story

Top
#442724 - 07/31/13 04:22 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: Johnny777]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 786
Loc: michigan
hi johnny
dude, congratulations on saying this even here on this forum, you need to know that help is available. the same courage it took to come here will be required to leave that situation altogether this is a great first step! it is true that you matter a great deal . you are more than just a man you are a father and you have your daughter to think of. this is not healthy for you or the child. though your situation may seem different on the surface it has been shared with others you are not alone. and you are worth whatever it takes to get out of that situation immediately. Men can and to report to rape crisis centers or even just call them for support and tell what your situation is I know that would take such courage but you are worth it what ever it takes. I hope you can take that next step soon
be well
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

Top
#442725 - 07/31/13 04:26 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: Johnny777]
Johnny777 Offline


Registered: 06/12/13
Posts: 5
Thanks. I was actually getting help in a psychiatric hospital for all the problems that have been caused by this but she got me kicked out. Who knew that was possible. I had friends I would talk to but K has ran them all off. They can't handle her possessive behavior and I don't blame them. The only solace I can find right now is that my daughter is safe. I had to leave my daughter, Ana, with an exgirlfriend and her husband, for her own safety. Although I know I can never have her back at least I know that she'll grow up with good parents and brothers and sisters who love her.

Top
#442726 - 07/31/13 04:26 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: Johnny777]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 786
Loc: michigan
hi johnny
dude, congratulations on saying this even here on this forum, you need to know that help is available. the same courage it took to come here will be required to leave that situation altogether this is a great first step! it is true that you matter a great deal . you are more than just a man you are a father and you have your daughter to think of. this is not healthy for you or the child. though your situation may seem different on the surface it has been shared with others you are not alone. and you are worth whatever it takes to get out of that situation immediately. Men can and to report to rape crisis centers or even just call them for support and tell what your situation is I know that would take such courage but you are worth it what ever it takes. I hope you can take that next step soon
be well
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

Top
#442727 - 07/31/13 04:31 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: newground]
Johnny777 Offline


Registered: 06/12/13
Posts: 5
Hey Jeff,
I hope what you say is true. I hope one day I'll find the courage to free myself from her. I call the crisis center all the time now but I adore K so much I don't think I could ever report her, despite knowing that its the right thing to do.

Top
#442728 - 07/31/13 04:31 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: Johnny777]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 786
Loc: michigan
sorry man I dont know what happend to make that re submit. any way with or without your daughter you can make this break happen you deserve that just because you are you. no one deserves to be beaten down in any way sexually or otherwise. you can inform the police of her threats to protect your daughter and then maybe gather your friends together for support to leave her she has not got the right to hurt you this way man it is possible to get past this so often survivors have this feeling that we deserve abuse or are asking for it somehow. that is NOT true man you deserve better and I think you should look for it
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

Top
#442729 - 07/31/13 04:35 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: newground]
Johnny777 Offline


Registered: 06/12/13
Posts: 5
Its no problem. I'm so glad you said that. All I can think of everyday is "what did I do wrong? I must be a bad person. I deserve this." Its good to know I'm not alone in that feeling

Top
#442739 - 07/31/13 08:53 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: Johnny777]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 786
Loc: michigan
it has to be an issue man, Im sorry that this person is someone you care for but obviously her feelings are confused because she hurts you. there is more than one way to seek help here man counseling for the both of you might be helpful, but the primary thing is you need to take care of yourself as it seems you are loosing that in this relationship. you have the right to be a little selfish(I personally dont think it is selfish at all ) she has already cost you your friendships and your daughter and physical pain, ask yourself what has she contributed to your well being? what has she given back for all that she has cost you? you deserve better man no doubt about it.
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

Top
#442743 - 07/31/13 09:48 AM Re: Finally doing this.... [Re: Johnny777]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
Originally Posted By: Johnny777
The only solace I can find right now is that my daughter is safe. I had to leave my daughter, Ana, with an exgirlfriend and her husband, for her own safety. Although I know I can never have her back at least I know that she'll grow up with good parents and brothers and sisters who love her.

I really don't know what to say on all this and to be honest I can't understand all circumstances. Has your daughter mother? Could you tell us why she is not taking care of her daughter instead your girl friend?
I don't know anything about family laws in US but leaving child to "third" person here is felt like the worst possible scenario and least option; simply because children need their parents around them frown

For how long has been like that?

There are a lot of writings and ways to help someone who has fallen in codependent and abusive relationship. But I guess it is prerequisite to seek for help.
Please think on searching for some help and advices.
_________________________
My story

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, Publius, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.