I think this is the first time I'll be posting in this section - I guess that's a good thing.
Lately I think I've struck a good balance between everything. Have a lot of friends visiting at this point for a few weeks, so I've been exercising regularly (soccer), and going/hanging out with friends, having a good time. I'm lucky to have them - they always seem to welcome me whenever I see them with smiles and laughs. I've also been working on my passion (music) whenever I have time, and that's making steady progress as well. For the first time in a while, my issues aren't overriding my concentration on this single thing that's important to me. I spend a good few hours reading/studying music (over some nice coffee, and the one vice I can't get rid of - smoking) and practicing. So that's working towards possibly (and hopefully) a professional career in music. As for CSA - it does assert itself sometimes, but for the time being, I seem to have enough coping mechanisms or problem-solving skills to dissolve it in a short amount of time, so that it doesn't get in the way of my life. I haven't come onto MS as much as I used to - perhaps part of it was also accepting that I can only be helped and be of help to others to a certain extent. The toughest pill to swallow - I can't fix everyone I care about. On the flip-side, I can't rely on a single person to solve my problems. I can try and give temporary lifts, and I will try to the best of my ability, but to a large extent, it's everyone's own responsibility to recover and thrive in life, and everyone comes from different backgrounds with different circumstances. In other words, everyone has their own path ahead of them. I think I'm beginning to see mine.
Growing up isn't about losing innocence - it's about learning how to keep it in a cold and unforgiving world.