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#442532 - 07/29/13 03:18 PM Soul ties... possible triggers
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
The problem with abuse is the emotion underscoring what is supposed to be a beautiful, awesome, uniting experience with your spouse. Abuse connotes anger, shame, victimization... all the awful things of having sex with someone who is not your significant other, and oftentimes, against your will.

Started church this weekend, with my wife :), and the preacher preached on Soul Ties... Soul Ties as the reason we sometimes get emotionally distracted, emotionally pulled way. The foundation of this message... that there are three parts to the body: Spirit, Soul, Body. When saved, God's spirit communicates with your spirit. But your Soul continues to make decisions for your body. Your Soul is your thoughts, your feelings, your dreams and desires.

When you have sex, your souls intertwine. It's like cracking two eggs, mixing them in a bowl, then breaking up. It's IMPOSSIBLE; there will always be part of one egg with the other.

Abuse is a powerful word, rape even more powerful for the sentiment they convey, the emotion which underscores them. But sex, the simple (supposed-to-be pure and awesome) act is what happened with most of us. Simply put, most of our abusers had sex with us. Which led to my "wow" revelations...

We have a soul tie to our abuser. Our thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires connected. In my case, mine to my dad's and my dad's to mine. The pastor suggested that soul ties will create barriers in your marriage. That sometimes you'll feel sad, anxious, or depressed. You'll feel that way seemingly out of nowhere. And why? Because the souls of two people who have sex are tied together. His solution? Cut all soul ties.

The pastor's suggestion... cut all soul ties.

Wow.


Edited by csasurvivor1992 (07/29/13 03:21 PM)
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#442536 - 07/29/13 04:37 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
pufferfish Offline
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Originally Posted By: csasurvivor1992

When you have sex, your souls intertwine. It's like cracking two eggs, mixing them in a bowl, then breaking up. It's IMPOSSIBLE; there will always be part of one egg with the other.

Abuse is a powerful word, rape even more powerful for the sentiment they convey, the emotion which underscores them. But sex, the simple (supposed-to-be pure and awesome) act is what happened with most of us. Simply put, most of our abusers had sex with us. Which led to my "wow" revelations...

We have a soul tie to our abuser. Our thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires connected. ... The pastor suggested that soul ties will create barriers in your marriage. That sometimes you'll feel sad, anxious, or depressed. You'll feel that way seemingly out of nowhere. And why? Because the souls of two people who have sex are tied together. His solution? Cut all soul ties.



I've wondered about this. I think it must be correct.

I've wondered if this is why I felt such an inner relief when my perpetrator died? And/or maybe I knew I didn't have to be afraid of him anymore. His death broke the soul ties.

Puffer

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#442538 - 07/29/13 05:03 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
Chase Eric Offline
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...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 06:50 PM)
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#442542 - 07/29/13 05:42 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: Chase Eric]
KMCINVA Offline
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Registered: 08/31/11
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Soul ties. Interesting, for so long my T and I have been working on me connecting with a part of me, the child, that had a sense of being special to the abuser and believing the acts he committed to me was the only way to be loved. The rest of me was repulsed by any part of me having these feelings. We have made significant progress and this thread hit me, this is what part of me had-- a soul tie to the abuser. The child never grew it was trapped in the world of the abuse by me--I disowned this part of me.

I think this thread captures the need to break the soul ties if we want to be free of the abuser. Thank you for posting it helped to put the struggle I had into perspective.

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#442609 - 07/30/13 09:16 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
Wow.

Already the response is overwhelming, and validating. Puffer, KMCINVA-I'm glad it helped and illuminated something for you. I haven't yet discussed this with my T, but I plan to. Certainly discuss this concept with yours, if you have one.

Eirik, Thank you for your encouragement! I wanted to clarify one point you raised... the pastor suggested cutting soul ties but here's how: remove any relics, mementos, tokens, any material thing that may take you back to that person. Pray over it, pray that God would release you. And, it's not a one and done thing, it's a constant struggle to pray away the soul tie... he made mention that he prayed over his soul ties just that day. It's a constant struggle but a necessary one to stay emotionally connected to the present. And, soul ties can be rekindled, recreated... that's why the constant struggle to eliminate them.

Hope that helps clarify "cut all soul ties." Personally, I agree with you... anyone that can one and done cutting a soul tie may not be emotionally connected at all and I wouldn't want to know that person. And to be fair, this was as it relates to premarital sex between two consenting partners, seemingly "in love." I only equated this to sexual abuse because as the pastor stripped down our Spirit, Soul, Body makeup, I saw abuse stripped down as sex. This is a big leap I took relating it to our issues... the point being I don't think he's suggesting "forget" and "get over it." I think to eliminate material possessions is easy, to "pray" away the soul tie certainly involves processing the raw emotion that comes with being abused. It is, in essence, what we're already doing.

Thank you guys. You're feedback has been uplifting and validating. Much needed and appreciated.
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#442623 - 07/30/13 12:41 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
bodyguard8367 Offline
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:27 PM)

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#442629 - 07/30/13 01:50 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: bodyguard8367]
Chase Eric Offline
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...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 06:51 PM)
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#442634 - 07/30/13 03:12 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
freeze-on Offline


Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 72
Loc: southeast
I appreciate you guys regarding this discussion.

What is there about acting out as adults with those we wish to cannibalize (absorb their traits) that reinforces the soul tie with the original perp(s)?. Not that I want the traits of the original perp ; (getting over fear, having strength, finding myself in his traits, getting protection, nurturing, plain out needing companionship to dispel loneliness, whatever...) do i not reinforce the power of the original perp over me....the tie does not only reinforce the original, but perhaps also creates a new tie. Where do you find that part that is missing so that it does not continually wreak havoc?

.

Thus i find myself sometimes days in a row and sometimes a day a week suffer a moment of "I gotta have this or I might disintegrate".....which passes as i get grounded and refocus/play the tape to the end so to speak.

A long post, but how long does it take to get over these ties, get over these emotions, and what do you do to fill that spot where there is a legitimate need that must be met to recover from this thing that continues to eat at your core?

Thanks guys for being here. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for being courageous men looking inside of some harsh territory that even the most seasoned warrior would run from.





Edited by grinning (08/01/13 06:07 PM)

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#442644 - 07/30/13 04:10 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: freeze-on]
KMCINVA Offline
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Registered: 08/31/11
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It takes time. For me it took a long time first to admit a part of me had this sense of being special to the abuser and believing as he told me, the only way for love was the abuse--which he called our secret. For me it is more complicated, I have dissociative episodes and fugues and if I acted out it was in these states. Why, I have been told the child part of me takes over and I go wherever. It is a coping mechanism to avoid stress and the trauma. I have learned the child in me needed love, love I denied him by burying this fragmented side and once he was in control this part decided what was to occur. Very confusing for me, because these memories are lost and I have been told most likely will not return. This aside, my T and doctor encouraged me to learn to love this part of me, I resisted but finally I began to accept this part of me and no longer shun and try to bury it. I needed to accept him and the abuse. For more than a year I fought acceptance but slowly began to love the child, and over time I learned to love me. I am beginning to believe I am worthy and good--such a novel feeling. The conflict and need for the abuser has waned. My T said once I loved the child I would begin to free myself from the abuser. I was stubborn and he was right. I am learning the abuse and abuser does not define me.

It is painstaking and grueling to go through this process, but it finally has helped me. It is allowing me to be whole and live the life I was meant to live--as whole and not a fragment being.

In the end, I have learned it was up to me to accept me as a whole. I hope this helps, it is hard to put into words.

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#442650 - 07/30/13 05:15 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
bodyguard8367 Offline
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:28 PM)

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#442659 - 07/30/13 06:41 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
freeze-on Offline


Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 72
Loc: southeast
thanks guys ....i cannot comment further at present...but thanks for your time and hearts....take care of em.

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#442697 - 07/30/13 10:38 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: bodyguard8367]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367

Oftentimes I imagine that I am wearing armor, and possess many weapons, and I travel time and space to my younger self. I "rescue" him from his shameful surroundings and affirm his young life. I tell him I know he couldn't stop it, I thank him for facing it so that WE would have a future. I hug him and comfort him and speak harshly to those who make him cry. I bear up his weight and carry him back to my present and promise him to never let him go. All of these things are paying me heavy dividends as I nurture Myself.



I love you Geoff! What a hero!

(putting my armor on and picking up that sword) Let's fly!


Edited by GoldStone (07/30/13 10:39 PM)

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#442745 - 07/31/13 10:41 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
what a great thread. couldn't have imagined this kind of response.

soul tie - something that happens when you have sex with someone whether you want it to or not. two souls connecting.

to answer the "how long" question... the pastor suggested that it's a daily struggle, daily prayer, daily work. he even mentioned having prayed over his soul ties THAT morning. to me, i believe it's tantamount to recovery... not a destination, but a journey.

I especially appreciate the ultimate truth discussion on this thread... acceptance. acceptance as the nuclear bomb to an abusive soul tie. acceptance of ourselves, rejection of the perpetrator and everything they felt, desired, thought, and stood for. acceptance as the means to moving forward.

thank you brothers for your openness.
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#442759 - 07/31/13 12:14 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
bodyguard8367 Offline
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:29 PM)

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#442784 - 07/31/13 05:32 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
nolan79 Offline


Registered: 06/22/13
Posts: 32
Loc: sc, united states
That was an awesome breakdown. Very enlightening.
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#442941 - 08/01/13 08:09 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
ThisMan Offline
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Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Yes. Thank you for this thread. I am beginning to understand how and why I have such mixed feelings after all these years and all these assaults. I hate to admit, but a part of somewhere deep within is still tied to two in particular. How, oh how, can we finally sever these ties? I am so ready to be freed.
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#442971 - 08/01/13 10:36 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
genedebs Offline
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Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 285
Loc: MO
To csasurvivor 1992 and everyone else,
*Triggers*

This is a long and intricate thread.

Perhaps it is just that I am a child of the sixties. We all experimented and enjoyed sex, rarely were there any truth depth in these relationships. Don't get me wrong most of the women I had sex with, I was fond of. And I was careful to be respectful and tried to perform safe sex.

With the sexual abuse experiences I had there was no "soul ties."

My brother ejaculated, while playing, it even suprized him. When he manipulated me to participate in a mutual oral sexual performance, he stopped before he performed anything and berated me for being a homosexual. I was so needy and wanted his acceptance so much I still wanted him to further abuse me.

Perhaps the neediness and willingness to participate in the abuse are what the paster meant by soul ties. When the photographer took pictures, while my mother instructed me to undress, there were no soul ties involved.

When my mother's friend molested me, lectured me about the homosexual relations of 6th Century B. C. E. Greeks, there was no soul ties. When he almost made me pass out when he raped my mouth, and me thinking my mother who was just upstairs wanted me service him. And then when he would come upstairs and I would pretend to be asleep, and he would suck me off and insist that I return the performance. When he took me to his house and celebrated his birthday by performing an anal rape on me, thee were no soul ties. Did I like the experience of ejaculating. Of course. Did it have any depth of meaning for me. NO way.

Maybe it is just that I am a Jew. My experience with the presence of God and his Spirit, is not the same as others. But for me sex and soul ties are totally different experiences.

When I was married and my wife did not want to participate in sex more than once a month, this wasn't a soul tie, it was a sexual dysfunction.

There were times when there were soul ties, when we went to a cathedral in Montreal on our honeymoon, when she brought me to drink water from the old spring on the farm where she grew up. When I noticed the crocusis coming out of the snow in early spring during my courtship with my now ex wife.

But, being fucked up the ass with no consideration of any sexual release for me, just pain, is not a soul tie. etc. etc.

Perhaps it is my physical trauma which included being attacked at least twice a month by my father from age 4 to 15. Witnessing physical abuse of other family members (most frequently my mother) at least weekly. This may have enabled me have suppress all feelings of attachment, all ties including soul ties.

I don't know. What I appreciate is your openness and bravery sharing about you experience that led you to experience souls ties. I did not.

We all have different stories, but we all are just the same.


Edited by genedebs (08/01/13 10:37 PM)

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#443031 - 08/02/13 10:42 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
bodyguard8367 Offline
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:37 PM)

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#443326 - 08/05/13 04:35 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
There is a book called breaking unhealthy soul ties and it changed my life . It allowed me to see that I could not be a victim my whole life if I wanted to walk with God . It really helped me realize a lot of things in my life and how Soul Ties played a huge part of me not being able to be free.
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#446047 - 08/31/13 11:32 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
Rich1967 Offline
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Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
I know this is an old thread AND it has a lot of religious undertones so it may be in the wrong forum, but felt compelled to post anyway. Sorry if some find the thread offensive.

I happen to be a very religious person, but don't usually bring it into my discussions with others unless I know they are OK with it. My T also was a minister for my church. We believe that spiritual things have a basis in natural things. We understand that soul ties is the conjunction of souls which happens when the seed of a man is passed to another. So does that mean if no seed (sperm) was passed that there is no conjunction on a spiritual level? I would argue not, but I think it's different when no seed passes from one to the other.

In my case my seed definitely passed to my stepfather, but his did not pass to me as far as I can remember. I wonder if that plays a role in why I just can't bear the thought of being in the same room with him now and that he has tried so hard to be good to me since he started getting better himself. He got baptized several years ago and my wife and I flew down to FL just for the service to support him. I hate the fact that it was obviously very important to him that I was there. I hate it that I felt happy for him and could tell the whole event had a very powerful impact for him on his life. I hate that I left my seed in him - he didn't/doesn't deserve it.

OK, this is one of those "shakes me to the core" kind of threads.

Breath.

For the most part little Rich has been forgiven and I love him and try to take care of him as best I can. I am human so every once in a while we get into discussions about wanting/seeking out the sex, but we work it out. He's a cool kid and deserved better. I also have started loving who I am today. Emphasis on started. It's the only reason I can participate here at MS. As nice as everyone is here I still panic about posting sometimes. I'll make friends here and in one breath know they like me because I would make a pretty cool friend for someone but in another breath can't understand why they would want to be friends with me.

I think as I've been able to successfully love myself I've lessened the effects of that bond, soul tie, spiritual connection, or whatever you want to call it to my abuser and replaced it with not just a better relationship with my wife, but my in laws and particularly one of my brother in laws that is a real brother to me now, my cousin, and most especially my brothers here at MS.

All this makes me think that my decision, despite pressure to do otherwise, to NOT have anymore contact with my stepfather IS the right decision for me in order to cut all soul ties. That decision makes me feel better.

The only other thing I want to add, and I've said it in other posts, is that I think sexual abuse is the worst thing that can happen to someone. This thread helps to prove why. Not only is sexual abuse a natural crime, but it is also a spiritual one and therefor MUCH harder to recover from.

Again, I hope no one finds this offensive and that maybe it will be helpful for your own recovery process.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#446152 - 09/01/13 07:20 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Good post Rich. Glad you are posting!

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#448242 - 09/25/13 09:44 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
Bluedogone Offline
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Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 203
Loc: Southeast US
A little late to this thread, but a very interesting topic.

Thank you csasurvivor for posting, even though I don't fully agree that "the souls of two people who have sex are tied together."

......Possible Triggers......
I certainly agree that my cousin (about the same age as I was at the time) and I formed a soul tie when he taught me to masturbate, and when we experimented with pretty much everything two teens could do sexually. We basically enjoyed it, and every time we were together we did it. We were in agreement and it continued for a few months until I wanted to stop. He didn't want to stop, so as far as I'm concerned it changed from oral sex to sucking a dick, and it was abusive. Nevertheless we had formed a soul tie, and were in agreement regardless of who enticed who to engage in the sex. I think I effectively broke this soul tie some years later when I saw him for the first time at my grandmother's funeral and we were both pall bearers. I surprised myself and was able to look hm in the eye and carry on a decent conversation with no mention of what had happened many years before. I thought, aha, the tie was broken. At least it was at the time, but has to be dealt with even now. I agree that it takes a lot of work to break the ties and over and over again sometime, even after you think the thought of abuse has been long gone. But the thoughts have a way of invading your mind at the worst possible times.

That was my cousin, and we had an interpersonal relationship for several years, not just the relatively short sexual interlude. But what about the other incidents that still plague me? What about the assistant softball coach who performed oral sex on me even when I said no, or the high school football jock who threatened me (and he was much bigger than me)if I didn't stop off on the way home for a little mutual masturbation. These two, and there were others all as a part of my life since I can remember, until well after HS graduation.
Although they have had a very profound and lasting impact on my life, these incidents were no more than a brief encounter, or a short episode of fear with ejaculation thrown in. I sure didn't enter into any agreement with these folks and there was no mutual understanding that my gratification was important or necessary for them to get off.

No doubt the pastor has a lot more experience with soul ties, but I think there's a world of difference between a personal relationship that doesn't work out like you want, (no matter how horrendous) and a chance encounter with someone intent on abusing you without regard for YOU. My cousin I can see I had a soul tie that I constantly have to be sure remains broken, but I can't see how a soul tie is established with a serial abuser that you hardly know or meet by chance.
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#448530 - 09/28/13 04:39 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
dark empathy Offline
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Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1989
Loc: durham, north england
I don't know, I think this is a case as Bluedogone said of different experiences having different significances. For some people, who's abusers generated friendships, fraternal or other sort of emotional connections (however false those connections were), then maybe there is some sort of link, of soul tie. For some people though like genedebs said, there just seems to be nothing, a purely physiological form of violation. You might as well say someone who sticks a pin in you has a soul tie with you, since that's about the level of it.
*** possible trigger warning, ***

for me, there was absolutely no relationship, no context, heck not even a reason. The s/xual abuse just happened to be a progression of serious bullying, physical violence, insults and forms of humiliation, just something kids naturally did to make school more interesting. I don't even think there was any real desire for s/xual pleasure on the part of the girls involved in my abuse, since a lot of the abuse took the form of acts of indirect humiliation, eg, spitting in my face, having a used tampon stuffed down my trousers, public exposure just so people could laugh etc.

I don't even think the people involved were consistant, there were always more than three, but it really was "whoever was involved at the time"

My own physical responses were just that, simply and basically physical just a reflex, I felt no emotional attachment, no desire, indeed my chief feeling while things were happening was one of utter disconnection, feeling like a passenger in my own body. What my penis did when someone touched it was separate to me entirely, indeed I got to really hate those responses since on several occasions abuse sessions were triggered if I had an uncontrollable reaction. .

this is likely why now I am genophobic, but in need of love, since for me the absolute and total separation of s/x and love couldn't have been more extreme.

Soul tie? you might as well ask whether someone sitting in a car while a vandal smashes the car window has a soul tie to the vandal, indeed that was my chief and lasting feeling, of being an absolute passenger in my own body, the most extreme and profound expression of cartesian duelism.

@Rich, I understand that in many religions the s/xual practice has some sort of spiritual significance, but to be brutally honest the idea that "my seed" passing to someone else had anything spiritual about it just seems ridiculous. Several girls got it on there hands on various occasions, and usually responded by wiping their hands off on my face. To me this was no different to the time I unched a wall in furstration and got blood on someone, (not one of my s/xual abusers but a boy who usually responded with physical violence).

I think this is probably why now i feel such a need for intimacy, since the knolidge that the closest anyone has been to me, and that the most profoundly intimate reactions of my own body were simply a group amusement, a joke, really hurts a lot.

While as I said I appreciate that other people have different stories, to me at least it seems any spirituality in the experience of s/x, any experience of sharing or at least mutual regard must! come from people's own perceptions, true or false, believed or manipulated, just as seeing a Crocus as genedebs said was spiritually significant and affectig only when he was in that state of perception.

Of course, this also meas that the "spirituality" or otherwise of s/xual experience, or indeed any experience is pretty much up for grabs, and is something people could attain or remove with enough persistance and attention.

As I said I do appreciate that people's experiences are hugely different, but that is again why I'd myself prefer a belief in our freedom to interpret those experiences.

As to religious significance, well that's an entirely other matter.

Luke.

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#448575 - 09/28/13 09:28 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
A freedom to interpret our own experiences. I just started a thread on that topic. Totally relate.

I am not in your shoes on one point, but I feel your pain as a man, human, person with feelings. On your most intimate physical reaction of your body being treated as a source of amusement for tormentors.

That is just vile, the act of depraved individuals that become even worse in groups.

I had a bit of DV done to me, occasionally involving groin hits. That triggered intense intense anger. Sub psychotic rage. It is such a weird bag of mixed damage and reactions we have. The idea some females think a hit there is funny was rage inspiring. I have no qualms with taco punching some idiot woman.

Your first commentary on a users and false emotional connections was right on. You and a few others keep pointing out the insanity of it. It has taken a while, but I hear you, finally...

Again, sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing. Your insights are almost scary, like glimpses in my own head. Hang in there.
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#449153 - 10/04/13 09:07 AM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
dark empathy Offline
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Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1989
Loc: durham, north england
Hi OTf.

I'm glad some of this was helpful, and yes, I did punch my abusers on several occasions but that just made me feel disgusting, indeed on one occasion when a girl reported to the teacher I got a stern telling off for "touching girl's chests" there's laugh, since said girl had been fine with touching my genlitals and buttocks. Don't talk about double standards!

My point however hear was that if there is a soul tie in s/xual experience, something of ourselves, it is something we choose! to give, ---- heck, maybe it is even something which people in that position can choose to take away, I don't know since for me there just wasn't that.

That is indeed my problem now, experiencing what was probably as close to gang rape as girls can do to a boy, but not! having anyone wishing to be close to me in a good way, being an immotional virgin if you like, for all that I am certain that for couples who are together s/x is only a part of the emotional intimacy and shared experience, not it's entirety.

this might also explain why I've never tried to seak out anything purely physical, since to me that would just be my abuse again, even if my genophobia would allow me to go through with it.

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#449166 - 10/04/13 12:37 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 184
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
My thoughts only so please I hope that I don't offend.

I'm having real problems relating the term "Soul ties" with my abusers, the way that I see it is that I have soul ties with my wife I love her dearly and couldn't imagine life without her, to me the term "Soul ties" represents everything that is good
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Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#449167 - 10/04/13 12:40 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: csasurvivor1992]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 586
I won't post much as I'm relegated to using my phone for the next few days, but I just wanted to add that perhaps it would be useful distinguishing between the terms 'soul ties' and 'enmeshment'/'entanglement'. I suspect the latter terms would be more appropriate in describing what *some* survivors deal with regarding their feelings towards their abusers.
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Husky

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#449171 - 10/04/13 03:01 PM Re: Soul ties... possible triggers [Re: tbkkfile]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1345
...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 06:50 PM)
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