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#441825 - 07/22/13 10:59 PM what i get a lot
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
WHY! if someone tells me iam weird I get very mad! I feel like as if iam insecure I feel that I might be a bit weird do to the CSA though! Can anyone else relate I feel.. irratated when someone calls me weird....... As if I protect the lil weird kid in me after all the. Sexual, verbal and violent abuse!! I could remember being a weird lil kid but now I understand WHY! and it kills me slowly!!! Everyday waking up to whippings!! Sexual abused by my neighbor yelling! And getting in trouble in school!!! I thank the a#$ hole! Who decided to. Ruin my LIFE............ I would love to forgive but I got to learn how thank you..


Edited by forgive777 (07/24/13 02:25 AM)
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BertG777

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#442252 - 07/26/13 05:43 PM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
i was weird for so long, i started to like it.
being weird became my icebreaker.

i became the class clown.
the court jester.
the token geek.
the wise fool.

it gave me a reputation.
it gave me an audience.
it gave me a social life.
it gave me nick names that later became stage names.
it gave me identities.

i knew that everyone was weird.
that was my secret.
i got most of my material from the people around me.
i became a sponge, a mimic, a chameleon.

when someone said "you're weird."
i didn't mind taking all the credit.

i made people laugh.
it made others feel normal, and better about themselves.
then they liked having me around.
i always ended up with the weird crowd,
and that was just fine with me.
i love weird people.
the weirder the better.

being weird helped me weed out the intolerant and ignorant idiots whose prejudice i did not want to tolerate.

so my experience with the word "weird" is different than yours.
it is a label i don't mind.

i have also been called crazy, insane, psycho, freak, nuts, etc.

i figured, as a passionate poet and performer,
i must be willing to endure all manner of criticism.

in my younger days, i wore the rebel uniform.
steel toes, brass knuckles, iron fist, teflon skin, heart of stone.
now, i wear the armour of god .
the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.

armour of god research links:
http://biblia.com/bible/nkjv/Eph6.10-18
http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInterlinear/NTpdf/eph6.pdf
http://www.acts17-11.com/armor.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul2flVYti_I
http://www.crossroad.to/Victory/Armor.htm


i have learned it is better to be rejected for who you really are than to be accepted for who you are not.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#442253 - 07/26/13 05:57 PM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
Rambler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 134
Loc: Planet Earth
Victor, I appreciate your reply.

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#442255 - 07/26/13 06:19 PM Re: what i get a lot [Re: victor-victim]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3449
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Originally Posted By: victor-victim

i knew that everyone was weird.
that was my secret.
...
it made others feel normal, and better about themselves.
...
i love weird people.
the weirder the better.

being weird helped me weed out the intolerant and ignorant idiots whose prejudice i did not want to tolerate.

so my experience with the word "weird" is different than yours.
it is a label i don't mind.


i second that!
another truth is that NO ONE is normal!
they just try to look that way.
and besides, normal is BORING!!!

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#442264 - 07/26/13 07:31 PM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1133
Loc: The ATL

Hi Bert. I don't want to invalidate your feelings and tell you that you shouldn't get angry when someone calls you weird. Based on what you stated, I can understand why you would feel that way. All I can say is that I have been called "weird" all my life. The fact of the matter is, I AM weird and a lot more so than most people. While I don't expect you to be able to feel the same way about these things that I do, I have to say that I learned to embrace the label, "weird", when I was just a kid. I didn't want to be like all those fucking asshole "normal" kids that were mean to me. I didn't want to be "normal" and still don't. I take "normal" as an insult. I take "weird" and even "freak" as compliments. Not saying you should feel that way too, just saying there is a different way of looking at the issue. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#442265 - 07/26/13 07:33 PM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
got some good stuff here about identity, insults, image, labels and tolerance.

smile http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/06/06/the-second-agreement-dont-take-anything-personally/


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aFQ5LIOnH4

smile http://www.healyourlife.com/author-don-m...e-it-personally

smile http://www.meetup.com/Womens-Shamanic-Wisdom-Circle-Austin/events/120512852/

the 2nd agreement
Donít take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wonít be the victim of needless suffering.



more information about the 4 agreements here:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=433551#Post433551

hope this helps.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#442316 - 07/27/13 04:21 AM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Just a shout out about that book. Maybe someone will hear it and follow.

This book, The Four Agreements is awesome and changed my life...made relationships SO MUCH easier for me to cope with.

AND

There is another book, which was even better for me.

It's his second book. Its really short and its a gem. So simple you might wonder how you didn't think of it. It broke so many of the mirrors of insanity in my mind.

It's called, Mastery of Love.

Its a horrible title...so pretentious.

But it was a true silver bullet for me.

For those of you who have called me freakishly honest on this forum...this book is the reason why.

My life is my life. I don't need to feel any shame about it or compare to anyone. Your opinion is yours. And the results of your opinion, its effect on your life, are your responsibility. Not mine.

So I cherish my 'dream' of life. As ugly and unbearable as it may be sometimes, I WONT add to my own suffering by shouldering ANYONE's opinion about it.

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#442328 - 07/27/13 08:56 AM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2016
Loc: durham, north england
@Forgive777, for a long time I would agree with ken. "weerd" for me meant not being normal, and normal was what abused, hurt,etc. however, one thing I'm realizing is that there are two senses of weerd that mean too different things, that are so different as to be almost different words.

There is "weerd", ie, not accepting the standard view, not behaving in the normal way, rejecting the views of a group society, being an individual often against the majority, to be yourself so strongly your fighten others by not behaving in the standard way.

Then, there is "weerd" to stand out, to be exceptional, to be the person nobody "normal" can get on with, ridiculous, strange and the but the of cruelty.

Both are terms that others can use of us and that we can use of ourselves, and it's often amazing how interchangeable they are, and how much we want to be the first but afaird we are the second, or violently accept being the second in order to pretend we're being the first.

Myself, I am trying to separate out the two sense of that term and distinguish how to be "weerd" and yet not lose anything of myself or feed my sense of worthlessness, and it's pretty difficult especially when "normal" so often just means the negative. Admitting that I am "weerd!" without being "weerd" for you, perhaps it's the other way around, you need to be a bit more weerd in the sense of distinctly yourself, and a bit less afraid of weerd in the sense of unfit to be with others.

For weerd you could equally substitute strange, mad, insane, freaky, or any similar term.

Might I suggest you start thinking of the positive sense you might be weerd and how if someone calls you weerd it could be that way, and not the insult it might have been before.

Just a suggestion,

Luke.

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#442371 - 07/27/13 04:20 PM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
what other people think about me is none of my business.
anyone too stupid to dislike me does not deserve to know me.

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Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#442402 - 07/27/13 10:54 PM Re: what i get a lot [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Phew!!!! That makes me feel normal! Thanks gentlemen it all makes sense and very helpful!!!
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BertG777

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