I am so sorry big man. That is awful to hear and all too familiar. I too was raped by my dad over the course of six years. I felt stupid, conspired against, and like you say, a piece of shit.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I relate COMPLETELY to your handle..."little big man"... I actually thought I was an oaf or ogre as i was growing physically but I stayed 6 mentally. I understand for sure.
Please allow me to confirm something to you... you are NOT a piece of shit. You are worth so much more than your family made you feel like... you deserved SO MUCH better than they gave you. You ARE worthy of love and A LOT of it! You are worthy of love and worthy to be heard, worthy to live your life as you see fit. Remember that through these trying times brother.
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.