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#441864 - 07/23/13 10:29 AM Encounter with former teacher/abuser
bountiful1 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/03
Posts: 52
Loc: New York, New York, USA
I recently went to a memorial for a teacher. Her partner (in life) and in teaching was there. In 1985, she assaulted me. She put her hand up my shorts and ran her fingers up my leg and groped me. She was a teacher who (by all accounts available) seemed to believe that by thrusting you, aggressively and judgmentally, into the same place where something may have happened that was blocking your self expression, it would force you to accept that it was you who is to blame for being stuck in any situation and she didn't have to tolerate it. I am being generous and nice. She was vicious and cruel to anything she disapproved of. I am not bound by her historical abuse of me; but have been feeling sad at having had to have seen her cruel face again. I worry that she still teaches. But, I am comforted in that she is in a wheelchair. This comforts me in that someone would be able to move away from her impulses quickly. (Her self serving impulses. I have been sad at seeing her again, but am most worried about whether or not to report her at this late date. It could ruin my career, so i am erring on the side of caution for now. I had reported one of the main abusers of myself several years ago, and had an enormous backlash from it. It shocked me that so may people would rally around such a monster; but I suppose they think it was little or nothing to worry about. I think they were wrong in their support of him, but it was horrible to go through such a backlash. I am not certain what to do, if anything. Are there any out there who have felt that reporting was worth it, and were there supportive people outside of professional care-givers?
Thanks

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#442145 - 07/25/13 03:25 PM Re: Encounter with former teacher/abuser [Re: bountiful1]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
I think that these days ,post Penn State it is a whole different world for male survivors. People understand that this evil happens and that many want to help. It is not easey to report but in many ways it is very healing.


Tom
_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#442262 - 07/26/13 07:22 PM Re: Encounter with former teacher/abuser [Re: bountiful1]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1089
Loc: The ATL

Hi Bountiful1. I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through this. Sadly, I'm not sure what good reporting would do as you are certainly past the statute of limitations by now. Also, with no proof and possible harm to you career, I'm not sure I'd go through with it if I were you. If you are concerned about other children, perhaps you could write an anonymous letter the the school board in her district telling them exactly what happened and what your concerns are. That way, at least these things would be brought to her attention and if she knows one of her former victims is even potentially going to speak up, it will scare the shit out of her, as it should. After that, who knows where it could go. Just a thought. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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