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#442091 - 07/25/13 02:15 AM Comorbidity
mattheal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 142
Loc: Ohio
Comorbidity

Do I have to find the start, to one day find the end
Poverty, Neglect, Abuse it is me they define
Or is it just the past she never got to mend
Not Son, but wicked stepmother the focus of her mind

There are too many auditioning
For my long time role of blame
I want to shed this part
Or the end is more the same


Edited by mattheal (07/25/13 02:16 AM)
_________________________
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"

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#442143 - 07/25/13 02:55 PM Re: Comorbidity [Re: mattheal]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
You have me thinking matt ...

Comorbidity
I have in spades
It's something I'm all too familiar with.

Your poem is tragically eloquent
yet I'm puzzled by how you marry
it's message with that word ...

Very intriguing.
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

Top
#442191 - 07/25/13 11:33 PM Re: Comorbidity [Re: mattheal]
mattheal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 142
Loc: Ohio
if i look at my life, what is the primary disease - parental neglect, the likely cause of that neglect, abuse, poverty?
_________________________
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"

Top
#442198 - 07/26/13 12:58 AM Re: Comorbidity [Re: mattheal]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
Yes ... I see that ... but it seems to me that there's something more to it.
I don't know what it is ...that's what has me thinking.

Thinking in general ... not specifically about you and your poem/story ...
but as it relates to us both.
A quote keeps going through my mind ...

"The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts"

It's something I think of endlessly about myself.
What caused me to be the way I am?
Was it the sexual abuse?
The emotional neglect in my home?
The duality of my childhood ... one good ... one bad?
The horrendous bullying outside of my home? ... which of course was done by other boys ...
ergo ... my peer group.

Was it the sex ... the emotional dismissal of my father as less worthy of his time and interest than pretty much anybody else ... the total confusion because of my circumstances ... the bullying ... or something else?

Was there a single genesis or a combination of 2 or more things?
Did one of the bunch cause the other ones ... and if so
which one?!
Comorbidity.

What damaged me the most?
What do you think damaged you the most?
What was the initial spark that set our lives on fire?

And I thank you.
My life right now is in crisis ... real or perceived.
What does it matter? ... I'm a mess.
Thank you for giving me something that caught my attention
so my attention is not completely focused on my own neurotic breakdown.
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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