Sorry Matt just don’t see the relevance here, I was caught in the act with el Diablo by an older cousin, all hell broke loose, and all I remember is the confrontation with my father and him speaking, saying something “god’s will”, I must have basically said eff you cause it’s the only time in my life where my father beat me, but I never ever said a word, the first person I ever told was my wife back in October. I am not a christian but Jesus said to turn the other cheek, it’s not because they don’t deserve your hate and animosity, but because as soon as you violate the sacred trust of humanity you become one of them, maybe not an “Eichmann” but a “little Eichmann”; “your either part of the solution or part of the problem”; you figure it out.
I still fantasize about beating el Diablo’s skull in till his brain falls out, just that there is no hate in it, just my bestial mentality vs. his bestial acts. Please understand I have put people in the hospital and I feel the need for their forgiveness too, I just don’t want to hurt anyone anymore, I have been a pariah of mankind and will continue to be until I die. I just want out, I want to have peace in my head, just can’t figure out how to silence the demons inside me.
“every single one of us a devil inside”
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"