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#442087 - 07/25/13 01:24 AM The letter in my head all day.
mattheal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 142
Loc: Ohio
A
_________________________
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"

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#442119 - 07/25/13 11:27 AM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3493
Loc: somewhere in Africa
this is good, Matt.

i think it hits the right balance between personal vulnerability and respect for his feelings - gives him the freedom to respond however he wishes - or not.

i hope it does bring you the answers you seek.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#442123 - 07/25/13 11:33 AM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:23 PM)

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#442127 - 07/25/13 12:00 PM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 289
Loc: PA
If I received it I would be touched, but I know how the abuse can affect us. It's always so weird when you tell someone and they say, "oh, that's too bad" and then move on to the next topic because they have know clue about what I just told them.

He may not know the magnitude of what you are telling him, but he may still respond with the info you are looking for.

I think you wrote a good letter and I hope he responds as well.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#442132 - 07/25/13 12:43 PM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 744
Loc: Southeast USA
Originally Posted By: traveler

I think it hits the right balance between personal vulnerability and respect for his feelings - gives him the freedom to respond however he wishes - or not.


Matt,

I agree. This is an excellent approach. I had the opportunity of being on the opposite side of an exchange like this. Last year, another victim of the same perp contacted me. At first I was shocked...because that meant that someone else other than a select few and MSers knew or remembered. This isn't an exact analog of what you are doing, but I will say that after I determined that the other guy was legit, his insight opened up new avenues in my recovery. Some of it was painful to hear, but ultimately the pieces of the puzzle he brought to the table filled in several crucial gaps.

Way to go! I hope this is productive for you.

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#442256 - 07/26/13 06:19 PM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Excellent letter Matt. Truly excellent.

I pray that you hear from him.

Jim
_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#442267 - 07/26/13 07:44 PM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1139
Loc: The ATL

Hi Matt. This is awesome! It took so much courage to seek this guy out and even more to type out that message and send it. I am hoping like crazy you get a response. I'd say "please let us know the second you hear something back" but I know you will if you do. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#442278 - 07/26/13 09:59 PM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3430
Loc: O Kanada
i hope you don't mind me asking.
first of all, from reading your story,
i get the feeling you are attempting to confront your abuser.
or have i misunderstood?
if that is the case,
i can't imaging what kind of courage that took.

i have NEVER done that.
except almost once when i was a child.
i made sure i had my mother with me and that did not work out.

just contemplating the act of doing it now as an adult, alone, makes my heart start to pound in my chest.
what you are doing takes guts.
i don't think i could do it.
don't even know what i would say.

i truly hope it has positive results.
please let me know what happens.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#442296 - 07/27/13 12:36 AM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
mattheal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 142
Loc: Ohio
Nope. They guy was a boyhood friend. We were very close, and I have a few puzzle pieces he might be able to help me figure out where they go.
_________________________
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"

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#442297 - 07/27/13 12:42 AM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3430
Loc: O Kanada
sorry about the confusion.
i got mixed up with your story.
my bad.

well, best of luck reaching your old friend.
do you think he might also be a victim?

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#442299 - 07/27/13 12:52 AM Re: The letter in my head all day. [Re: mattheal]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Matt- this is a beautifully written letter. The wording quietly whispers of your abuse and I hope your friend responds quickly.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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