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#442062 - 07/24/13 07:31 PM New to the site
Parrotpaws Offline


Registered: 07/24/13
Posts: 3
Loc: Massachusetts
So I've been checking the site out the past few days and decided to join after seeing so many people going through the same problems I have. Specifically trust and relationship issues. I'm 24 years old and it was during my freshman year of high school 10 years ago that I consistently dealt with harassment and repeated unwanted physical fondling/grabbing from an acquaintance who I wouldn't say was my friend, but the friend of a friend and we ran in the same circles.

This isn't my first time talking about it, some of my friends actually know, but joining here seemed like a good second step. I guess there are two final things to say about myself.
1. The focus of my harassment and assault focused on the fact that I suffer from gynecomastia(over development of male breasts).
2. The reason some of my friends know is because this past new years while out with 3 of my female friends at a bar I witnessed them get very aggressively harassed and the man attempted to fondle one of their chests on several occasions. At first I didn't know how to handle witnessing someone go through something very similar to what happened to me. Then the drive home happened and I completely fell apart and had to pull to the side of the road. Thankfully one of my female friends who was out with me that night was able to meet up with me and essentially be there for me as I balled my eyes out. This led to me accepting that maybe I should stop pretending like it didn't matter (used to tell myself to suck it up b/c I wasn't raped or forced to engage in sexual acts and I refused to even use the words sexual harassment or assault)and I could shoulder it on my own so I decided to let some select people in. Though I never explained it to my friend who came out and sat with me why I was so emotionally messed up that night. So yea theres lots more I could say(especially about the prior sentence) but ill stop there since its just an intro and I'm slightly surprised i said this much anyway.

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#442063 - 07/24/13 07:38 PM Re: New to the site [Re: Parrotpaws]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 420
Loc: USA
Hello Parrotpaws,

Welcome to the site. You can find friends and support here. I joined just over a year ago and since then got into T (therapy) and it's helped a lot. You will find we all have different stories but we share hurts and confusion, and through that we can relate to each other. So, welcome Brother and congratulations for taking another big step.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#442065 - 07/24/13 07:48 PM Re: New to the site [Re: Parrotpaws]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3333
Loc: O Kanada
welcome.

hope you find this a safe place to post or read
as you feel the need.

you may surprise yourself yet again.

the more you stay real,
the better you feel,
and the quicker you heal.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#442066 - 07/24/13 07:56 PM Re: New to the site [Re: Parrotpaws]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
hey, Parrotpaws!

glad you're with us - sorry you need to be.

i can relate to your experience. part of my abuse history was from peers groping me - but in a different area. but i can can tell how hurtful it is.

hope you'll find the support here that will help - as i have. there are lots of caring guys here who are willing to share from their hearts.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#442109 - 07/25/13 10:00 AM Re: New to the site [Re: Parrotpaws]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
Welcome Parrrotpaws.

I think it's great that you shared. It gives others the courage to do the same.

It's good that you see a need to deal with those issues. One thing that seems to be a common thread with every abuse victim (not matter the type) is that it just doesn't go away on its own.

I've been in therapy for a year and that's the only reason I had the courage to join the site. Before that this stuff was too overwhelming. Go at your own pace, but don't get discouraged. This recovery process can take a while.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#442242 - 07/26/13 01:16 PM Re: New to the site [Re: Parrotpaws]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 06:24 PM)

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#442276 - 07/26/13 09:45 PM Re: New to the site [Re: Parrotpaws]
Parrotpaws Offline


Registered: 07/24/13
Posts: 3
Loc: Massachusetts
Thx guys. Feels a little weird being on the site, at some point I imagine I'll be ok with the word assault...its like I use mental gymnastics to avoid using it aloud when it comes up with friends.

Thinking of having a conversation with the friend who was with me that night tomorrow. Don't know if I'll end up going thru with it though, as many times as i've gone through the conversation in my head this week, I've prolly had as many fantasies hoping she'll react in a way that'll give me and excuse to push her away. Even though I know she wont.

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#442287 - 07/26/13 11:13 PM Re: New to the site [Re: Parrotpaws]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
Sounds complicated. Hope it works out for the best, whatever that may be, and good luck.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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