Do you think that you're gay or sort of it doesn't really matter. The reason i ask (not to be nosy) but if you are a straight guy how did it influence your life now.
I'm gay and married. It was the only thing to do in the '70s but my relationship with my wife is a strong "friendship", It's not really sexual. I look at other men but have never been with anyone else but her for the last 37 years (???).
Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
I have to say that all of my experiences came to a sum of who I am.
The SSA side learned and felt a mainly physical thing. My CSA was under the premise of becoming a man. I thought men did that sorts thing. Maybe women were a thing on the side from the boys club? Who knows what you think at 7.
I knew at 7 I had a hero that was my idol. The sexual part was almost minor? It was cool. Weird I know. Totally Stockholm syndrome stuff.
I detached love from sex. I learned that sex was the entry key to being cool. I learned that a promise to suck his dick got me what I wanted.
I felt like later in life I just experience more of humanity, not always sexual, but some of the ga culture, the outsider aspect. Many are people pleases to try to get acceptance, living with low self esteem,
I know what I like sexually and I feel like I understand more about people in general. For me, I needed the help and friendship of all people, my gay and straight friends to make a life worth living.
I love all my friends. I went there, tried it, now I am cool with who I am. Nothing to prove. No internal war to fight.
Thanks for the question. It made me think a bit. I'm actually feeling some gratitude right now