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#441600 - 07/21/13 10:58 AM why??? is it
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Iam back! Well I been feeling a lil better about me accepting that I was raped as a child! It started when I was seven yrs! Old and now iam paying for major weirdness. Why is that after I opened about my deepest secret to people at this age that iam now is 30yrs old I feel as I still haven't grown to a thirty yr old inside I really feel like iam 16 Why do I feel as iam behind in life just still feel like a teen!! I look young and iam barely starting off my career is as of my twenties went by fast and its scary why does it feel that way those anyone relate I need motivation iam still in a deppressed state of mind my ex of 5yrs left me with a nasty thought after she told me that I will become gay at the age of thirty and broke up with me becouse I told her my deepest secret that I was fully raped!! At age of seven by a neighbor she freeked out! And left me with a broken heart and major confussion!! : ( and it has been two yrs that I been feeling weird about the break up and my memories of me being molested!! And iam thirty now why!!!
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BertG777

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#441601 - 07/21/13 11:04 AM Re: why??? is it [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Another thing I forgat to add! Is I haven't been with any female for about a yr and a half don't get me wrong tho I slept with her sister and two other friends of hers lol but I won't stop thinking about how confused I got when she told me that I was going to become gay in the future!!!it really hurts me!!! And why iam I easily confused I love women but when I think about the abuse I feel confused I hate that!
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BertG777

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#441605 - 07/21/13 12:05 PM Re: why??? is it [Re: forgive777]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
it will be no comfort to you,
but i started disclosing early as possible in relationships so as to avoid getting too attached.
pretty much as soon as i started to like the person and it looked like it was going to be intimate.

i did not save the secret for after sex.
unless, of course, i did not have any plans to continue the relationship after sex.

so, basically, i had to like the person enough to want to become closer...
before i would tell them anything.

it was always a risk,
so i had to still be willing to lose them at that point,
without too much heart ache.

these days, i just put the disclosure out there early as possible.
i now do this with just about everyone,
except people i have to deal with on a professional level.
even then, i have confided in some of my colleagues and associates.

you might be amazed at how many seemingly "normal" people have been sexually abused.
it is far more common and hidden than even i realized.

very often, i get a surprise confession back,
and sometimes i am able to kick start someone on the road to recovery,
by helping them realize they are not alone.

now, i feel totally comfortable discussing this subject with anyone, including strangers.
if they can't handle the truth... F--K'em!

i don't even want to know people who don't have the capacity to absorb that information.
that is the majority, unfortunately.
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Victor|Victim

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#441634 - 07/21/13 08:58 PM Re: why??? is it [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Yes sir! Your rite it makes me mad knowing that I was abused sexually as a child!
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BertG777

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#441638 - 07/21/13 09:23 PM ! [Re: forgive777]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:00 PM)

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#441679 - 07/22/13 12:26 AM Re: why??? is it [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Makes a lot of sense I am like that to I guess iam a late bloomer!!!
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BertG777

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