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#441409 - 07/19/13 08:12 PM Chatroom Addiction
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 591
I think I'm addicted to the chatroom.

I'm on there when I tell myself I shouldn't go on. I'm on there when I've only got 5 minutes to get ready for a soccer game. I'm on until the late hours of night, as late as 4 or 5 in the morning - even 7 once or twice.

I can find so many parallels to my other (hopefully past) addiction, gambling:

- the rare big wins vs. the rare deep conversation
- the 'social life'
- the escape from depression/anxiety
- the 'fun', the joking around
- the destruction of other activities and real-life relationships
- the isolation
- losing track of time
- some deluded sense of purpose

It's the first on this list that I think has me coming back most of the time. Maybe I'll have another deep conversation where I can learn some things and set my life in order; maybe I can connect on a deeper level with someone again. It hasn't happened for a long time.

Obviously, there are some good times. But rare.

I don't know. I'm really confused tonight.


Edited by concerned_husky (07/19/13 08:32 PM)
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#441418 - 07/19/13 09:12 PM Re: Chatroom Addiction [Re: concerned_husky]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
i would dare say that the chat room is by far a less harmful addiction than gambling.
that is assuming you are actually addicted to the chat room.
perhaps you are in transition, moving into safer behaviour patterns.
the chat room might be keeping you away from your "other (hopefully past) addiction".
eventually you may move on to some even more productive activities.
if you feel it is a problem, then it must be bothering you.
if it bothers you, then it is a problem.

try these cliché mantras.

self awareness, self regulation, self control.
self esteem, self actualization. that's our goal.
everything in moderation, including moderation.
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#441420 - 07/19/13 09:40 PM Re: Chatroom Addiction [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 591
Far less harmful, definitely - especially financially. I think spending more than half your waking hours on chat qualifies as an addiction. Years ago, when I didn't realize abuse was abuse - I used to be content all on my own just listening to music all night...I've somehow lost that independence/self-efficacy. I'd do anything to get back to that. The cliches you mentioned have lately escaped my conscious vocabulary - thanks for reminding me about them.

Came across this in the meantime -

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
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#441421 - 07/19/13 09:52 PM Re: Chatroom Addiction [Re: concerned_husky]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
my wife thinks i am addicted to this forum, because i feel compelled to check it every few hours.
i don't agree.
the problem is, i can't express my true feelings around her or the kids.
i have already damaged those relationships unintentionally with my problems.
they have undeservedly endured enough of my wild ride through the wild side.
i have concluded that this website is a safer place to communicate the dark thoughts that dance in my psyche.
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#441427 - 07/19/13 11:05 PM Re: Chatroom Addiction [Re: victor-victim]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 591
I have to laugh at the odd twists life gives me sometimes because I just had some of the best chats I've had in a while and it's nearly 5am...so it's put all of my thoughts on addiction in a new light now.

In light of that, I guess - with chatting, at least - what you said was most paramount:

Originally Posted By: victor-victim
everything in moderation, including moderation.


So...basically, I shouldn't quit chatting entirely, but simply choose the times I chat and stick to it. And once in a while, overthrow the moderation for a full marathon in the hopes of catching yet another deep conversation...

Also -

Originally Posted By: victor-victim
the problem is, i can't express my true feelings around her or the kids.


I think that captures quite well why many of us keep coming back here.
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#441538 - 07/20/13 10:21 PM Re: Chatroom Addiction [Re: concerned_husky]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
smile

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#441552 - 07/21/13 12:19 AM Re: Chatroom Addiction [Re: concerned_husky]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 151
Loc: Chicago
Husky. I had one of the best chats today in a long time. Only it was a face to face chat with my brother over dinner. It was a talk that I normally would have reserved in the chat room. I think the chat room has helped me reach out to my family and friends by expressing to them how I really feel. So don't worry about frequency or timeframes. Let the chat serve as a healthy function in building relationships with the people you care about . . . FYI the moment we got seated; the guy at the next table said,"I own a husky!" I immediately had a smile on my face.

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#442084 - 07/25/13 12:39 AM Re: Chatroom Addiction [Re: concerned_husky]
Human Offline


Registered: 03/14/12
Posts: 62
Loc: private
I've overdone it in the chat room BUT I learned things I needed to learn much faster than if I were to post and wait.

I'm a chronic bad back pain sufferer so I have a whole lot of other problems on top of just being a CSA survivor/hopefully someday CSA Thriver.

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