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#441042 - 07/16/13 11:23 AM July 14, 2013
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
When I was in undergrad, I attended a religious retreat. I never questioned my faith in God, but I thought I was unworthy of Him. I received a very special, personal message from Him that told me otherwise. I was spiritually reborn, but I still harbored insecurities about my interior and exterior qualities.

For 28 years, I was insecure about who I was. I never thought I was good enough at anything. I never thought I was physically attractive, and I never thought there was hope for me in anything I did.

So I spent my life trying to excel. My IQ is off the charts, I drew a lot of people to me through my personality, many people had crushes on me and hit on me and I excelled at my job. I even opened my restaurant at 31 years old. You know what? It still was not good enough.

The last few months, something was stirring. I briefly left the chat room so that I could pursue social activities. I went out almost every evening, but I was still empty. I was just a man who went out to dinner with friends, that's it.

Last week, I encountered several obstacles and new circumstances in my life. This overwhelmed me to the point of a near breakdown. On Saturday, I was shaking to the point where I had to hide in my office from my customers. Then one by one, I was solving my issues. And with each solution, I began to calm down.

Then I received my awakening similar to my experience in undergrad. Both times I was anxious to the point of collapsing. Both times, I instantly received my answers.

So on July 14th, I was reborn for a third time. I have my faith in God, but this time I have my faith in myself.

For the first time in 28 years, I know what I want and what I don't want in life. I now realize I am intelligent, I am attractive, I offer great contributions to my family and friends and I am an overall talented person. For the first time since my abuse, I am at peace and have a sense of normalcy.

To say I am recovered is a little overwhelming to me, but I can say I can now live my life. I credit some of the amazing men that I met here. I established lifetime friends in the process. This site is pure heaven for me. For those who are not there yet, I hope you will get your own “personality awakening. “ Because now I can say to myself, "I want it all, and I deserve it all!"

I look forward to meeting my future wife and having a child. In the past I never thought I was special enough to start a family. Now, I finally feel that I can give so much to my wife and raise one hell of a family.

Thank you MS Survivor, thank you, gentlemen and most importantly . . . Thank you, God!

-Nick

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#441043 - 07/16/13 11:30 AM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: CafeMan]
toysoldier Offline


Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 476
Loc: Texas
it so cool to discover that You do not have to let CSA determine Your future You are a very bright and intelligent person and I am very happy that You had this revelation You are awesome my Brother!
_________________________
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders..

Bit by bit Torn apart We never win But the battle wages on
For toy soldiers!

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#441044 - 07/16/13 11:32 AM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: toysoldier]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
Thank you so much. Thank you for your support. I appreciate it so very much.

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#441045 - 07/16/13 11:36 AM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: CafeMan]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 423
Loc: USA
Awesome post CafeMan.

Psalm 91: 14-16

14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

NIV Student Bible
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#441046 - 07/16/13 11:45 AM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: CafeMan]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3609
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi Nick,
please tell me what you have eaten and drank in last 24 hours so I could try the same wink
Just kidding.
Thank you for sharing with us your insightful moments.
Finding strength to believe in self and hope in better future is some task for everyone of us.
Breaking isolation and reaching for others is even harder for me so I congratulation you on your success and found confidence. Just proceed like that further wink !

Igor aka Pero
_________________________
My story

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#441047 - 07/16/13 12:40 PM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: CafeMan]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
Thank you, Igor.

Well I reached this point in four months since I first joined the site. Had I of known of this earlier, I would of joined when the site was first created! Nevertheless, it's never too late.

-Nick

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#441056 - 07/16/13 02:44 PM ! [Re: CafeMan]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 08:58 PM)

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#441057 - 07/16/13 02:45 PM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: CafeMan]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3420
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Nick -

i am so glad for you!

please stick around and help light the way for others. it would be really helpful if more guys who reach the place where they want to be would do that. it would be so encouraging to know that it is attainable and not just another brief phase or flash in the pan.

all the best as you continue to move ahead!
lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#441077 - 07/16/13 04:40 PM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: traveler]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
Thank you. I thought about my time here. I would like to still stay because of the great connections I have made. And if I can be of help, so be it.

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#441078 - 07/16/13 04:42 PM Re: July 14, 2013 [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
Thank you so much! The last two days have been challenging at the restaurant with certain tasks (like any other day, really). But . . . I still have my smile, and it's not so bad.

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