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#440940 - 07/15/13 12:00 PM Friends/Acquaintances Without CSA
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 545
I took a little trip abroad over the weekend with a friend of mine, and we met up with two others. Just seeing a new city, enjoying some good food and coffee, playing cards and generally killing time - it was a pretty awesome weekend. Now that I'm back on my own, I catch myself thinking about this a lot.

Most of them were good kids - they probably didn't even go to the level of what would pass as a 'friend' for me, just nice acquaintances. I told one of them I had a stressful week because my mother was visiting me for seven, long days. He said something along the lines of "oh, you're an only child, and she's your mother", etc. - the usual response. I just smiled and left it at that - I'm guessing CSA and abuse and things like that were simply beyond the reach of his imagination. But - it was nice, in a way. I felt it was nice to just hang out with guys to whom these kind of things weren't really problems they had to deal with. Granted, they, like so many others, might be hiding these problems, but for the time being, I'm betting my money on the fact that they are one of the 5 of out 6.

I made a lot of effort in trying to integrate with these type of people. Of course it would be unfair to say they don't have problems, everyone does. I guess what I'm saying, is that it's just sometimes nice to hang out with guys where CSA is virtually non-existent. It helps forget, and it brings you peace in some ways. I wouldn't share with them this kind of thing ever - I wouldn't want to ruin the illusion that I completely belong to this circle.
_________________________
The ratio of good to bad people in this world will always be tipped in favor of the latter. Always. But that ratio in your own social circle, you can control. And there, and only there, can the balance be favorably tipped, so that those who love you far outnumber those who don't.

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#440941 - 07/15/13 12:09 PM Re: Friends/Acquaintances Without CSA [Re: concerned_husky]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1432
I think it is great you were able to get away from the issues of CSA for sometime. It does help to bring peace and tranquility--I find when I am with positive and compassionate people the issues of CSA are minimized. Put me in a situation of being attacked, locked up or some other act that reminds me of the abuse, the child can take over and I am gone. So I try to surround myself by people who care, make me laugh and think about the good in the world.

I am glad you had a great trip.

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#441168 - 07/17/13 01:17 PM Re: Friends/Acquaintances Without CSA [Re: KMCINVA]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 545
Thanks KMCINVA.

Originally Posted By: KMCINVA
So I try to surround myself by people who care, make me laugh and think about the good in the world.


I think this is something that's really overlooked - it's a good thing to face and try solving your problems, but often it's easy to get engulfed by them and forget about the world out there. Maybe integrating yourself within healthy social groups is as important as dealing with recovery. Being around this kind of people really does bring perspective and a sense of normalcy and peace.
_________________________
The ratio of good to bad people in this world will always be tipped in favor of the latter. Always. But that ratio in your own social circle, you can control. And there, and only there, can the balance be favorably tipped, so that those who love you far outnumber those who don't.

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