Hi guys. Been a long time since I posted about this and I suppose I owe everyone an update. I almost took this to Off Topic because it's not really directly CSA related. However, a lot of the issues this dilemma raises are more or less CSA related, so I decided to bump this old thread instead of starting a new one in a different forum.
I know when I started this thread I said that there was no way in hell I'd ever even consider taking on a roommate I didn't know but, as the hour of truth draws near, I am beginning to soften my stance on that. My brother and I put in our 60 day notice to vacate the apartment about two weeks ago and the landlady said I had until the week of Christmas to sign a new lease and stay. After that, the apartment will be put back up on the market and I will have to move.
Recently I've been using Facebook to try and put out the word that I'm looking for someone to be my roommate and it hasn't yielded any results. I figure through FB I may be able to find someone I at least somewhat
know but it hasn't worked. That has me starting to look towards, dare I say it...... fucking Craig's List. Ugh.
The idea of moving in with someone I don't know well really scares me and the idea of moving in with someone I don't know at all scares me even more. Firstly, it scares me for all the reasons it would scare normal people. It could be a total disaster. I could wind up hating them and we could wind up making each other's lives a living hell. Secondly, it scares me for the reasons it scares fucked-up little old me. Only a few people in the world know all about me, know what my issues are, and know just how fucked-up I am. Letting some random person into my life and letting them that close to me and to all my secrets seems unthinkable, but here I am, on the verge of doing just that. My God.
At this point there are really only three options on the table. To say I'm between a rock and a hard place here would be understating things by a lot.
Option 1: Find some random schmo to be my roommate and stay here.
The negatives are that I have to dive headlong into the murky and frightening waters of living with a stranger and take on all the potential risk that entails. Also, I will still have a bitch of a commute to work that makes me miserable. Not to mention that I won't be saving any money and will continue to struggle financially.
The positives are that I don't have to go through the extreme hassle and expense of moving. Also, I don't and won't have to worry about storing or selling any of my stuff.
Option 2: Move in with my parents for an indefinite period of time.
The negatives are that I will be 38 years old and living with my parents. I will feel like I've taken a huge step backwards in life. I will naturally have to give up a ton of privacy and independence. My commute will be even worse than it is now. I will have to store or sell most of my stuff. I'll probably opt for selling most of it because nothing I have is that valuable anyway. The only things I have that are really valuable are my 42" LCD television and my gaming systems. Those I would keep. Everything else I own, (furniture etc), I could easily replace with equivalent items at a Goodwill or Salvation Army store for a couple of hundred dollars, which is what it would cost me to store all of those same items for just a couple of months. So, sell it will probably be.
The (one) positive is that I could save a shit load of money. I could pay off my car within a year and also save up more than enough money to replace all my belongings with equivalent belongings. Granted, that is a pretty damn big positive but I'm really not sure it's even worth it considering what I'd have to give up in the time being.
(As an aside, if option 1 or 2 wind up being what happens, I will probably start looking for another job to remedy the commute problem, but I don't want to look for another job until I know for sure where I'm going to be living. Also, if I wind up living with my parents, I really don't want to get a job near where they live, establish myself out there again and risk getting stuck there. They still live in the suburb I grew up in and I fucking hate it out there. I swore I'd never move back to that damn town. I suppose I'll have to work on crossing that bridge when I get to it though.)
Option 3: Find someone renting a room I can afford near the job-sites I work at now.
The negatives are all the same as the negatives of option 1, minus the commute. Also some of the negatives of option 2. I would probably have to sell most of my stuff as I would only be renting a room and I have a full apartment's worth of stuff. I would still have to go through the hassle and expense of moving, and
I wouldn't save any money.
The positive.... no commute and I wouldn't have to look for another job. Probably not going to go with this option unless I somehow found an affordable situation that was somehow just perfect. Not likely. Especially considering that the area I'd need to move to, (Sandy Springs, GA) is a more expensive area than the one I live in now.
Whatever happens, I'm trying to keep in mind that it won't be the end of the world. I'm trying my best not to catastrophize the whole thing, which is normally my default mode of thinking. Inevitably I have some challenges that lay ahead of me and probably some major headaches, but I'm going to be ok. Whatever happens, I'm going to get through it somehow and I'm going to survive, just like I always have. Peace,