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#440106 - 07/05/13 03:37 AM Re: recovery means... [Re: Magellan]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2101
Loc: durham, north england
I've recently been reading a lot of poetry by John Masefield, and if there is a poet who really summed up recovery it's probably him, find his stuff Here

One particular statement he made, which he intended about reincarnation is far more applicable to recovery and I think is one of the best descriptions of the process:

my road shall be the road i made;
all that i gave shall be repaid.
so shall i fight, so shall i tread,
in this long war beneath the stars;
so shall a glory wreathe my head,
so shall i faint and show the scars,
until this case, this clogging mould,
be smithied all to kingly gold.

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#440167 - 07/05/13 08:52 PM Re: recovery means... [Re: Chase Eric]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1219
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
Recovery is a lie. There is no endpoint. There is no "recovered." This is Male SURVIVOR - not Male RECOVERY. When was the last time someone posted, "Hey guys, I made it! I'm recovered!"?


QFT! That is all. Peace,

Ken

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#440170 - 07/05/13 09:32 PM Re: recovery means... [Re: Magellan]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 370
Loc: Iowa, USA
Recovery is becoming who I'm meant to be, not who they wanted me to be. Recovery means reaching out to others, forming connections, rather than building walls meant to keep the world out. Recovery means looking ahead to the future, not reliving the past. Recovery means believing it wasn't my fault and that I didn't bring it on. Recovery means being able to face the world and say this happened, and I survived and not fear being ostracized. Recovery means being able to look myself in the mirror and say that my life matters and the world is a better place because I'm here.

DavO

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#440188 - 07/06/13 02:10 AM . [Re: Chase Eric]
JoeSmith Offline


Registered: 05/03/13
Posts: 129
.

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#440211 - 07/06/13 09:53 AM Re: recovery means... [Re: JoeSmith]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
Originally Posted By: JoeSmith
You must face your problem and the past head on, no mincing words or avoiding the painful things. We avoid to cope, but it is in avoiding we destroy our chance at recovery. I know it's hard, tell me about it, I know, but to you younger guys, FACE YOUR PAST HEAD ON, tell your therapist everything, it's the things we hide that we should tell them first and foremost. And I tell you this as someone who hid and avoided for almost all of my life: believe me, it doesn't work.


Best thing I've read here in a long time-thanks for sharing.

All my life I practiced avoidance- rationalization, hiding, excuse-making. Drinking, acting out sexually- lots of isolation and further damage and no healing, no resolution, and no real progress on the road to recovery.

"The truth will set you free", and the lies you live and tell yourself will keep you a prisoner and tied to the abuse.

And recovery means I am no longer alone, I join forces with those who have suffered and are walking upwards out of darkness and towards a better place, one step at a time and one day at a time.

It means I learn to take care of myself and honor myself with care, compassion, and constructive decisions.

It means I ask for help and don't try to face troubles alone or struggle in secrecy or isolation.

And it means I am becoming a better man- and I know I will never be done with recovery. I deserve to reclaim myself.


Edited by Mountainous Buck (07/06/13 10:08 AM)
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#440260 - 07/07/13 01:25 AM Re: recovery means... [Re: Magellan]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Originally Posted By: Mountainous Buck
[quote=JoeSmith] You must face your problem and the past head on, no mincing words or avoiding the painful things. We avoid to cope, but it is in avoiding we destroy our chance at recovery. I know it's hard, tell me about it, I know, but to you younger guys, FACE YOUR PAST HEAD ON, tell your therapist everything, it's the things we hide that we should tell them first and foremost. And I tell you this as someone who hid and avoided for almost all of my life: believe me, it doesn't work.


I've followed this with my wife for some time.

She's not my therapist, but I can't live with a person who doesn't know me. When we make love, I know that she knows who she is sleeping with. Otherwise I couldn't get it up.

M


Edited by GoldStone (07/14/13 04:17 AM)

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#440282 - 07/07/13 01:30 PM Re: recovery means... [Re: Magellan]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 05:21 PM)

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#440296 - 07/07/13 04:24 PM Re: recovery means... [Re: bodyguard8367]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367
RECOVERY .......

MY LIFE NEED NOT BURN IN EFFIGY TO PROTEST WHAT WAS DONE TO ME......so I climbed from the pyre, washed off the propellant, cast away my blame and doubt, and sought solutions.

That is who I am.

Geoff


love

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#440299 - 07/07/13 05:01 PM Re: recovery means... [Re: GoldStone]
toddop Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 233
Loc: California
Originally Posted By: GoldStone
Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367
RECOVERY .......

MY LIFE NEED NOT BURN IN EFFIGY TO PROTEST WHAT WAS DONE TO ME......so I climbed from the pyre, washed off the propellant, cast away my blame and doubt, and sought solutions.

That is who I am.

Geoff


love


I agree with GoldStone. This is a great statement. Thanks, Geoff.

Todd
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein

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#440305 - 07/07/13 05:22 PM Re: recovery means... [Re: GoldStone]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1516
Loc: California
So beautifully, and powerfully said.

Recovery means looking back and seeing the choices I've made leading up to this point, and seeing the courage, integrity, and drive I had to get here. Recovery means valuing who I am BECAUSE I have striven for recovery.

We're all heroes and rock stars here.

Originally Posted By: GoldStone
Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367
RECOVERY .......

MY LIFE NEED NOT BURN IN EFFIGY TO PROTEST WHAT WAS DONE TO ME......so I climbed from the pyre, washed off the propellant, cast away my blame and doubt, and sought solutions.

That is who I am.

Geoff


love

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