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#44017 - 06/14/01 06:58 PM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
Hope you are doing ok with all this going on in your life. One hour at a time can become one minute at a time. Thate care.

Glad you are doing this.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#44018 - 06/14/01 08:13 PM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
Brian,

The boards been down or i would have replied earlier, you have been in my thoughts though, i knew it had to be coming up soon, i hope it all goes well,

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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#44019 - 06/14/01 08:53 PM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
Brian B14 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/01
Posts: 122
Loc: New York
We are doing the interrogation in about 10 hours. He does have the legal right to decline to talk to us but the detective working with me is very skilled and persuasive. I have confidence that he will sit down and talk to him. We need to find out about his other victims. Then I will talk to him.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to say. It's the only time in my adult life that I have not been able to prepare for something. I'm sure I will be able to jot down a few points to talk about later tonight, but I feel very vulnerable right now.

I'm scared but I don't know what I'm scared of. I talked to my counselor this afternoon. He said that this was normal. I'm not use to being scared or not being in control. It's not normal for me.

At the same time, I can't wait for this to happen. I've waited 25 years for this day to come and it is here! I'm taking back my life. I'm not going to let him win. I'm going to live my life the way I want to. He has caused me so much anger, grief, fear, shame, guilt and loneliness. The remainder of my life is mine!!

I will tell everyone what happens. Thanks again for being so supportive to me. I can't tell you how much you all have helped me.

Brian


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#44020 - 06/14/01 11:07 PM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
Anonymous
Unregistered


Brian,

I hope you are ok and will say send up a prayer for you tonight. I know this will be a big step forward for you.

Keep strong!!!

Daniel
-moving forward-->



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#44021 - 06/15/01 12:45 AM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
Brian B14 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/01
Posts: 122
Loc: New York
I just finished writing an outline of what I'm going to say tomorrow. I have to get up in 3 hours for the big event. I will talk more about it tomorrow night or Saturday.

Brian


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#44022 - 06/16/01 05:42 AM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
pondboy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 59
Loc: benicia, california, usa
Brian, my thoughts are with you. I certainly admire you and know that many wish they had your courage. today will be tough. no matter how it went, you did the right thing for you. I was forced to meet my abuser face to face when I was 14. we sat at the same table together. the insensitivity of now galls me 40 years later.keep us posted on how you are doing. chuck


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#44023 - 06/17/01 11:04 PM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
Anonymous
Unregistered


God I wish I could have that kind of clarity.
God bless you for your courage and strength.

My brother is my abuser and I can't bing myself to anything more than tattletale to my parents about what he did. doing that was not satisfying as they quickly jump into denial mode and minimize my pain and I do not have the strength to sever all ties with them - not to mention be so bold as to press charges. I do not think the canadian legal system would assist me if I wanted to. He never quite abused me enough, and he was "only" five years older than me.

Thankyou for being a leader in survival.

SG


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#44024 - 06/17/01 11:29 PM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
Brian B14 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/01
Posts: 122
Loc: New York
I DID IT!!!!!

My confrontation went better than I ever could have imagined. It was absolutely perfect. I was nose to nose with him for over an hour. I was in charge. There was an incredible calm that came over me. My mind was so sharp and clear. I didn't think I had it in me!!

I have not had a chance to sit down and write out what happened. I made some notes last night. We had a murder in my jurisdiction early Saturday morning and I have put in 32 hours of Overtime in the past 2 days. I probably won't have much time over the next week. I can't wait until I have some time where I can slow down and reflect.

I just wanted to make a qick post to let everyone know I am doing well. I will get back to all of you with the details when I get a chance.

When I was in that room with him and I realized it was going so well, I thought about all the wonderful people on this board. Thank you again for all the support.

Brian


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#44025 - 06/18/01 08:35 AM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
YIPEEE!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Way to go Brian!!!!

Your like my hero right now.

That is such great news, Awesome Dude!!!

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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#44026 - 06/19/01 02:47 PM Re: I'm a SURVIVOR !!
Brian B14 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/01
Posts: 122
Loc: New York
The murder investigation that I have been involved in has hit a brick wall. Unless the Bloods and the Crips decide to run to the police and rat on each other, we are out of luck (for now anyway).

I decided to take the day off. I played golf with a good friend. We had a beutiful day and I was able to relax and enjoy myself. I'm home now and will begin writing about my confrontation. I will start a new topic tonight or tomorrow to share my experiences from last Friday.

Talk to you all soon,

Brian


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