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#439905 - 07/03/13 11:46 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Suwanee Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 758
Loc: Southeast USA
It may have already been mentioned, but "Kids" (1995) was very, very disturbing to me. Uncontrolled children, violence, underage sex, HIV.

I saw it in the theater with a couple of friends when it came out. The film made me physically ill. I walked out to the lobby for a few minutes during one scene, but went back and managed to finish it, but damn..it put me in a funk that lasted a week.

Will
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#439914 - 07/03/13 01:57 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 336
Loc: Iowa, USA
I saw "Kids" on HBO or Cinemax, and I couldn't take it. I had to switch the channel. What really bothers me is that when the movie was released, critics raved about it. It was described as being "real" and that if you didn't like it or if you objected to it, you somehow didn't get it. The enlightened people understood the film and were therefore superior to the rest of us.

All it did was exploit the actors in the film, but more so, it insulted and damaged real CSA survivors.

DavO

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#440065 - 07/04/13 04:33 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: DavoSwim]
Suwanee Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 758
Loc: Southeast USA
Dave,

I see you feel the same way. The friends who watched it with me thought it was a tough film, but couldn't understand why it messed me up the way it did. Messed me up it did. I couldn't get it out of my head. I really was in a dark place for days afterward. Exploitative is right---the actors and THIS member of the audience for sure.

No redeeming value.

Just thinking about it gives me a terrible feeling. Even if I hear anything from the soundtrack, I get uneasy.
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#457700 - 12/31/13 04:38 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Suwanee]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Since my post in this thread, I watched Clockwork Orange.

It is pretty provocative. The idea is that the "girls" are mind-controlled sex slaves.

But since watching it I find that some people say that it actually goes on in real life. Orange is supposed to by a symbolic color of Illuminati sex control or something like that. But I hate to give up the color orange to the enemy, since I happen to like orange.

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#457705 - 12/31/13 05:12 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 624
Loc: VA
I watched the movie "Clockwork Orange" not long ago, and it seemed weirdly dated and unrealistic. Why? It's set amongst the teens of the "near future" (as imagined in the 1960's), and... there were NO SCREENS ANYWHERE! No social media, smartphones, computers... none of the tech toys that have engulfed our society.

A much better Malcolm McDowell fantasy movie is "O Lucky Man," the surreal adventures of an English coffee salesman. Honest.

John

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#468095 - 07/27/14 11:49 PM the CHANGELING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3556
Loc: O Kanada
Here is another one to add to the list.
This movies created a very intense, unpleasant and deep reaction in me.
The titles gave me no warning, and I was lured in by the big names.
I thought I was going to see a remake of The Changeling from 1980 with George C. Scott.
I had no idea what it was really about until it was in my face.

Can't say if it was good for me or not, but it was very uncomfortable, so...
I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid these films if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
The Changeling(2008)
Director: Clint Eastwood
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Stars: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich
----------------------------

This movie was technically excellent,
but the story had too many elements that were similar to my own.
It is based on a true story known as the "Wineville Chicken Coop Murders".
That pretty much tells you all you need to know.
If that had been the title, I would not have watched the film.

The case of serial killer Gordon Stewart Northcott is so surpassingly bizarre, so full of incredible twists, that even a full-length feature film from one of Hollywood's premiere directors couldn't properly do it justice.

It is, in fact, one of the strangest cases in the history of American justice. Yet this nearly-forgotten story of abuse of power, family dysfunction, and deception remains deeply relevant today, in a time when unlawful detainment, official malfeasance, and extralegal measures like "extraordinary rendition" are common.

By the time the events of the "Wineville chicken coop murders" reached their tragic conclusion, a police force had been disgraced, a town had decided to change its name, and at least five people were dead.

trigger warning - read at your own risk
http://swallowingthecamel.blogspot.ca/2008/12/real-stories-behind-changeling.html
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#469565 - 09/01/14 05:05 AM Re: movies [Re: victor-victim]
lostc Offline


Registered: 08/12/14
Posts: 46
I haven't watched it yet but I am going to, The Unsaid (2001) *Spoilers!* has parts about a boy having been sexually abused by a male family friend and another boy being sexually abused by his mother. There is also depression/suicide. I would say it could well be triggering for others. Looks interesting to me.

Also Last Ride (2009) is all about a father on the run with his son who he emotionally/physically abuses. Again haven't watched it but is probably very triggering too.

Also, for those who don't know, on imdb.com you can find almost all movies - Most of the time if you click on Parent's Guide within a movie's own page, you will see the details of any sexual or abusive scenes which could be triggering to watch.


Edited by lostc (09/01/14 05:42 AM)

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#469566 - 09/01/14 05:35 AM Re: movies [Re: victor-victim]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3513
Loc: somewhere in Africa
I just watched “Good Will Hunting” for the first time last night. I was unprepared for the not too unpredictable “surprise” that the title character had been abused as a boy. Though the script refers to verbal and physical abuse and does not mention sexual abuse, it was not difficult to imagine that happening too, especially from my experience, where all three kinds were intermingled inseparably.

I was impressed by the sensitivity of the performances and the perception of the script-writing, especially that is was written by two such young men - Damon & Affleck. Not only was it an amazing debut for the quality of the characterizations and plot and dialog, but the research required to make the situations and basic premises believable were admirable. For me, what was most remarkable was the depth of understanding of the psychological issues that were involved in the main characters’ lives. It made me wonder if there might not be some personal experience on either the first-hand or by direct observation.

However, I was very disappointed in the ending. I know that the structure of a movie plot requires that the climax be followed immediately by a quick dénouement and an emotionally satisfying ending. But from personal experience, I can testify that it takes more than a quick acknowledgement that abuse took place, repetition of “It was not your fault” 10 times in quick succession, a good cry, a hearty hug and a pat on the back to “recover” from years of ingrained self-destructive emotional and mental habits. Suddenly, the guy has health and self-esteem. He lands a prestigious job, gets a car, finds his independence, and takes off into the sunset (or sunrise?) to win the girl. For those who have not gone through therapy for abuse, this may be a great happy ending. For the rest of us it rings false and was a big disappointment. If only it were that easy!

Lee
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#469684 - 09/04/14 02:06 PM Re: movies [Re: victor-victim]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 624
Loc: VA
I don't expect any movie to give me answers, but several of them have helped me identify problems. Thus, I can enjoy movies that end too glibly.

For example, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower": The total, immediate, unwavering, unconditional support that Charlie receives from his family and friends, though completely unrealistic, highlighted for me what has gone wrong in the absence of support.

"Good Will Hunting": Will's epiphany comes almost out of nowhere, but I think the disappointment is that we never learn much about his past--just a glimpse of photographed bruises, and a few allusions to how he got them. We learn a lot more about the shrink's life and history. OTOH, I find it instructive that Will had plenty of buds to hang around with, but all they did together was hit the bars--nobody's life changed. [Side Note: My wife took me out to see GWH when it appeared in theaters and my FB's were relatively new. She thought a movie would cheer me up... Oops! Of course, I also think she just wanted to see Matt Damon without his shirt.]

Darker movies like "The Unspoken", "Mysterious Skin" and "I Know My First Name Is Steven" have more "realistic" endings, in that they lack resolutions. I guess that proves the saying that "The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense."

Peace! John

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#469911 - 09/11/14 10:09 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1486
There was a movie a while back - made for TV - called Judgment Day: The Ellie Nesler Story. I saw it both before therapy and afterwards. Before I went in for counseling, the movie hit me hard but I never made the connections as to why. It certainly was disturbing, and I thought that was it. After therapy - when my eyes were finally opened to the crimes perpetrated against me by my "big brother" mentor, this movie was a deep punch in the gut. It was in so many ways my story (although in other ways - especially the resolution - it was not).

My relationship to my abuser was very much like the one depicted in the movie. Brandon (the victim) even offers himself to protect his sister when he sees Danny (the abuser) at their house pushing her swing in the yard. That's very similar to what I did. The way Danny schmoozed Ellie to hand the keys of her children over to him was another very strong point of correlation to my own experiences. Seeing those scenes made me angry. But there was one scene in particular that made me cry...

The scene that reduced me to streaming tears was when the victim revealed his awful secret to his aunt and then to his mother. Ellie just hugged her child and cried with him - just this full support that essentially defined them both as Danny Driver's victims. That is not what happened to me. I told my mom, pleaded with her not to tell my father - and for my sins I got my wish. It was never discussed again. My mother helped perpetuate the secret I carried - while in this movie, the secret was released in a powerful catharsis. No wonder that scene sets me to tears.

Another movie that raised the "ick" factor with me was The Graduate. It was very popular with my peers but I always had a tough time appreciating it, and remember leaving during the seduction scenes. No wonder. Perhaps the ages and genders and even situations were different - but the grooming and power-play seductions were the same. I sometimes wonder if that plays into the myth of acceptable sexual intiiation. I mean, how would the movie play of it was Mr. Robinson seducing Ben? Of course the issue is no better or worse regardless of the genders, but it highlights the double standard in our society. The Mary Kay Letourneaus are splashed across the news headlines in an almost titillative fashion, while the very same crimes involving same gender perps/victims are not even looked at (unless they blow up to a scandal large enough to threaten the reputation of the Paternos and Popes of the world - achieving a size impossible to ignore). The real crime is the abusive application of relative power of the worldly and manipulative adult over one who has not yet found his voice in the world or developed the weight of character necessary to keep his feet planted firmly on the ground of his convictions.
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