It's something I've been doing pretty much since my teens ended.
I acted out a lot in my twenties, in the form of a heavy gambling addiction, going broke ever so often and spending a couple of days without shelter and barely any food. Got into smoking too. On the other hand, during those years, I discovered what life should've been like during my teens - lots of friends, joking around, hanging out, having a good time, playing sports, being vital and spontaneous, chasing a dream etc. Mentioned this a few times earlier, but last year, I also got placed in a dorm for 16-19 year old kids as part of a language course, and made loads of friends. It's been a blast hanging out with them, almost literally living my teens, with teens. I fit in perfectly and they've accepted me pretty much as one of their own, to the extent that largely I feel like a 17/18 year old, if it weren't for the fact that I'm 25.
Now...at the moment, I'm sitting here in front of my laptop munching on some pink cotton candy that I got from a visit to the amusement park yesterday. And yeah I'm kind of creeping myself out too. So much for my developing masculinity. Anyway, one of the kids I'd met last summer had disappeared for a year pretty much, and a few days ago he showed up back from the dead as part of a big (pleasant) surprise. Turned out he was depressed and needed to shut himself off from the world. We were smoking (I know, I'm such a bad influence on him) at around 2am, discussing all kinds of stuff, and I asked him if he was uncomfortable with the fact that he was hanging out with a 25 year old. He told me as far as he was concerned I was 17 like him. Now I'm thinking...is that actually a good thing? I swear I'm like the 21st-century version of a Peter Pan thinking he lives in Neverland just because it takes ages for him to grow a proper mustache. Like being stuck in limbo land and I've got a hard time getting out. Reliving my teens has been the most awesome experience I could've ever imagined, but a part of me now is telling me I have to move on and integrate myself into the adult real world. That would mean rewiring my brain that's accepted certain patterns that's lasted for about 5 years.
Anyone else gone through this kind of thing? Any tips for growing up and leaving Neverland, so to speak?
Edited by concerned_husky (07/01/13 05:30 PM)
Edit Reason: I'm not Michael Jackson.
"Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible." - Albert CamusMy Story