One big motivation for me to keep going is the feeling that I've been robbed of my childhood, my self-esteem, and so many other things I could spend all day listing them. I want the life I should have had, had it not been for the abuse. I won't be able to make up for all of it, but the opportunity to make up for any of it keeps me going.
I live because my sister and brother, also survivors, died prematurely. I live for Bryan and all the other survivors that were gone too soon. I live because there's a chance I might die with a sense of completion. I'd rather shoot for that; I'd rather gamble on the chance I might go out in a blaze of glory rather than exiting early and going down in fiery defeat. I live because I want to show them they didn't beat me.
I thought this was a good exercise because it can be hard to find things to live for when in constant survival mode. Life can be pretty unbearable but if I think about it, I can find things that make life worthwhile.
So Ken now I get where your BraveFalcon name comes from! I'm a recent convert to football. Used to hate it but now I love it. We hosted the Super Bowl in 2012. I wasn't able to attend but it was cool to experience that. I have a Super Bowl hat from that year and it's one of my favorite possessions. Oh and the hope of seeing a Super Bowl live is another reason to go on. I've never been to a football game, period. Want to experience that.
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