it's working now.
i could relate to many of the details: being an outsider in middle school, shutting down emotionally, the fatherless boy experience, craving male role models and mentors, the church setting, the benign neglect of a widowed mother, the loss of specific memories and regaining the experience as an adult.
good work. i anticipate the next narrative episode - whichever direction you drive it.
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9