it's working now.
i could relate to many of the details: being an outsider in middle school, shutting down emotionally, the fatherless boy experience, craving male role models and mentors, the church setting, the benign neglect of a widowed mother, the loss of specific memories and regaining the experience as an adult.
good work. i anticipate the next narrative episode - whichever direction you drive it.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho