Well done. Welcome to being a new /old rainbow man!
I just came out just under 3 years ago.
Was also abused from age 4 ish. Fell in love with my high school sweetheart.
Have two wonderful kids, and I will be forever greatful to my former wife for the understanding and support despite beyond belief trying times.
You will be so happy to shed the double weight you bore. Your loneliness will ebb as you come to be good with being alone, they are not the same thing. Trust your gut, mingle and just be yourself. One of my best friends was I exactly your place. 4 years later he is married to a wonderful man. ( the sky hasn't fallen over Canada yet, no marriage of goats or poly's, just people loving people).
You have great courage , just go with it.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
WoR Barrie 2011