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#439231 - 06/26/13 12:24 AM Out at 60
Kadin Offline


Registered: 06/25/13
Posts: 8
Hi,
I came out about 6/7 months ago at the age of 60. It was a long process for me to get to that place. I was first sexually abused starting at about age 4. Was always attracted to other boys and had a few secret boyfriends through Middle and High School.
After I graduated I moved to get away from a family I didn't feel I fit within. I did not have any contact with other gays for years and ended up married to a woman who was my best friend. During our marriage I was forced to deal with the years of sexual abuse I endured, which was a good thing. My wife supported me through the entire ordeal. Several years later I supported her through several years of cancer treatments. She passed away a few years ago. The end of 2012 I finally actually came out to my and my wife's family.
I am now coming to terms with being a gay man, what I've missed over the last 40 years and what does the future hold? Of course dealing with the affects of being sexually abused are an ongoing issue that comes and go.
So that is a little about me.

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#439233 - 06/26/13 12:35 AM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Hi Kadin. Welcome and pleased to meet you.


Edited by ThisMan (07/28/13 10:29 PM)
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#439235 - 06/26/13 12:36 AM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 613
Loc: where the shadows lie
Congratulations on being able to share that and for all the progress you've made. That's inspiring.
_________________________


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#439241 - 06/26/13 02:51 AM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 411
Loc: west coast
Kadin
Well done. Welcome to being a new /old rainbow man!
I just came out just under 3 years ago.
Was also abused from age 4 ish. Fell in love with my high school sweetheart.
Have two wonderful kids, and I will be forever greatful to my former wife for the understanding and support despite beyond belief trying times.

You will be so happy to shed the double weight you bore. Your loneliness will ebb as you come to be good with being alone, they are not the same thing. Trust your gut, mingle and just be yourself. One of my best friends was I exactly your place. 4 years later he is married to a wonderful man. ( the sky hasn't fallen over Canada yet, no marriage of goats or poly's, just people loving people).

You have great courage , just go with it.
Big hugz
Grant
_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#439251 - 06/26/13 08:37 AM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:51 PM)

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#439298 - 06/26/13 06:48 PM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
Kadin Offline


Registered: 06/25/13
Posts: 8
Thanks for the warm welcome! I do feel good that I can be myself now, more or less. I am on medication for anxiety that I am getting ready to wean off of. In fact am waiting for a call from my Doctor right now. The medication has destroyed my sex drive, which was fine before I came out. I have met someone recently which makes me want to have that drive back. I never was unfaithful to my wife during our 30 years together. I really haven't been with another man in 40 years but I am staying open and looking forward to the future.

As I am sure others here have considered early sexual abuse leading to feeling gay. I used to wonder about that but deep down I believe I have always been gay.

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#439364 - 06/27/13 02:52 PM ! [Re: Kadin]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 08:03 PM)

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#440184 - 07/06/13 01:00 AM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1234
Loc: New York
Hey Kadin,

Welcome to MS but sorry you have to be here in the first place.

Sounds like my story but I still haven't come out. My wife is my partner and a very fine one at that. She brought up our 6 kids and now sits with out grandchildren reading them stories for hours. I was never able to get involved in my kids or grandchildren's lives. Could never touch them.

It was being gay and having close friends that got me through a very hard time in my life.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#440249 - 07/06/13 09:32 PM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Just wanted to say WOW, what courage!!!
_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#440530 - 07/10/13 02:03 AM Re: Out at 60 [Re: Kadin]
SPIDER Offline


Registered: 07/02/13
Posts: 2
Loc: NEW JERSEY
I actually discovered my hidden sexuality late in life, never having a clue that I was attracted to males, primarily because straight men don't excite me because I don't excite them. It's so frustrating to think of all the fun I missed when I was young and full of sexual energy. Not to say I didn't enjoy my sex with women, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But they never fulfilled my narcissistic tendencies, the tendencies that have always ruled my fantasy life. God, to think how many men could have adored me. I'm only half serious here, but after wasting my life, I do feel like saying what's the use?

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